This week’s Sexuality Superhero is CoCo La Crème. Lorraine Hewitt is a sex educator, burlesque performer, foodie and a master of sewing! You can check out her workshops at Good for Her, and learn more by reading her feature below.
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
Growing up, I received the standard public school sex education curriculum. It explained the mechanics of sex, but didn’t really speak to sexual enjoyment or sexual communication. Because of that, I was missing a lot of information about the things that make sex great. My lack of knowledge became more and more obvious to me, as I became sexually active. I felt uncomfortable and unsexy, because I didn’t have the slightest idea about how to talk about pleasure.
The desire for a better sex life is really what propelled me into the field. I worked around the corner from one of Toronto’s first progressive sex shops, and I started going there all the time to ask questions and check out the gear. One day they told me they had an opening, and I immediately applied! From there a whole world of sexual information opened up for me. Suddenly, I was the one answering questions – the same kinds of questions that I had once had! I realized that I was eager to continue my own learning about sexuality, and to share that information with others.
What is the best part of the job?
The best part of the job, for me, is knowing that the information you give will truly enhance people’s lives in practical ways. It’s amazing when a workshop participant reaches back out to let me know that something has changed for them, or that they’ve had a successful encounter. I live for that!
What is the most challenging part of the job?
Sexuality and relationships can be a fraught topic, and we all bring our personal stories along with us in life. Sometimes strong emotions can come up around the topics being discussed. That’s a normal and natural part of learning and self-discovery. As an educator, I have to do my best to create a comfortable environment for people to explore, as well as support them through those more difficult moments.
What is your most important piece of advice that has the potential to revolutionize relationships?
Realize that there is always something new to learn about your partner(s). In long-term relationships, the initial over-the-top excitement tends to fade over time as we fall into routines and get comfortable. I advise partners to break up that routine as often as they can, in ways big and small. Explore new sights, sounds, tastes, and experiences together. Be a part of each other’s growth and exploration of self. This way you get to be continually amazed at the new things you discover about each other, as you continue to cultivate new experiences through your lifetimes.
What do you do to decompress and take care of yourself given that you spend so much time helping and caring for others?
I like to sew clothing for myself! It’s a hobby that allows me to have alone time, do some self-care, and come away with a tangible accomplishment. I find it wonderful for relieving stress.
What do you want people to know about your work as a burlesque performer & sex educator?
I’d like people to know that this work – in both sex education and entertainment – were born out of my own desire for sexy self-improvement. I can absolutely relate to feeling disconnected from my body, and lacking confidence about my skills; so for me to now be in a place to help others, shows that there are incredible possibilities for everyone!
It is always my goal to create a space where workshop participants, and the audience, can have fun, while connecting to new ideas. I’m an accredited social service worker so my professional training really helps, in this regard.
Where can we learn more about your work?
I regularly teach workshops at Good For Her. The class schedule can be found at www.goodforher.com. You can also book me for private events through them, or by contacting me directly at [email protected].