This week’s Sexuality Superhero is Tatyannah King! Tatyannah blogs about many sex-related topics, anything under the sun from masturbation, sexting and squirting! Read her feature below, and get to know Tatyannah a little better…
1. Why is sexual health education/therapy so important to you? And from this, what made you get into the field?
Sexual health/therapy is important to me because I saw how accurate and comprehensive information about sexuality was seen as a threat rather than an enhancement or integral part of people’s lives, and I wanted to change that. From a young age, my parents taught me a large chunk of what I needed to know about sex and relationships, and I loved to gossip with my peers about everything I learned in my household so I remember chatting with my friends on the playground during the second grade, asking them “Did your parents teach you about where babies actually come from?” Much to my surprise, none of them had that conversation with their parents yet. So, I took it upon myself to tell them about the uterus, C-sections, what vaginas look like, and the basics of procreation. Next thing I remember, my teachers encouraged me not to talk about with my peers about sex yet. It eventually got to the extent that some of my friends’ parent asked my mom to tell me not to talk to her children about sex-related topics. Ever since then, more and more instances made me realize that our society has an issue with confronting sexuality at its core. Eventually, I got tired of feeling like I had to stick to the status quo of being compliant amid inaccurate information and fear of something natural to all our lives. That is what drives my passion to be a part of this field.
2. How does your experience and/or identity inform your work?
Sometimes I think people get the impression that being a sex blogger automatically makes me an expert of all things related to sexuality and dating. However, much of my blogging comes from a place of new discoveries as well. I’m only 24-years-old and interestingly enough, my first time having penetrative sex was at age 21 so navigating that added layer to my sex life is still pretty new to me in some ways. I also don’t think I’ve reached my true “prime” years yet so there’s still more to learn about how my ever-changing body works and what I desire sexually and romantically, but that’s the beauty of it all. Reaching a multitude of people whether I’m speaking at a sex conferences around the globe or publishing my words for the world to read requires a strong sense of responsibility, honesty and vulnerability. It’s like wearing my heart on my sleeve, but in the most refreshing way possible.
3. What’s missing from most sex education programs?
Pleasure, cultural aspects of sexuality, relationship topics outside of domestic abuse, sex for people with disabilities, and the spectrum of sexual orientation are missing in most sex-ed programs by a landslide. That’s why I’m especially thankful to be a continuing contributor for online publications like tabu and Tickle.Life because they’re modern-day resources that fill the gap of the horrific sex education many of us received. I’m also thankful that I’ve partnered with apps like #open because informative workshops are provided by an inclusive community of sexperts, which help people feel represented as they learn about different relationship styles and alternative sexualities.
4. Who was your biggest role model growing up and why?
My parents have always been my biggest role models. The best attributes of my personality are traits that I’ve inherited from them. From my dad, I get my independent nature and my relentless need to travel throughout the world. I used to think he was a lucky person because he’s one of those people who are naturally successful, but luck has nothing to do with it. It’s all in his mentality. He sees something, he goes for it and does so to the best of his ability. Furthermore, I get my writing skills and my intrinsic love of reading from my mom. She taught me everything I know when it comes to composition so now I hardly get flustered with drafting academic papers, letters, reports, statements, documents, etc. My parents have helped me with my career goals by encouraging me to see how different cultures outside of America embrace sexuality. In fact, my dad actually surprised me and my sisters last year by taking us to The Netherlands and Germany, which was amazing because I got to visit the famous museum of sex in Amsterdam and attend PASSION, a popular BDSM & fetish expo in Hamburg (which you can read about here on his travel blog, The White T-Shirt Guy). Also, if it weren’t for both of them, I wouldn’t be attending Widener University to study human sexuality and social work. There’s no question in my mind that they are my biggest supporters.
5. What is your vision for the future of sex?
On the business-side of the future of sex, I envision that the field will grow exponentially to the point where it becomes more of a mainstream career option. The field is already becoming more broad with people pursuing sex tech, sex therapy, sex education, sex research, public administration, erotic fiction, etc., but I’d like to think that eventually these professions won’t be considered taboo anymore. Perhaps within the next 50 years, there won’t be multiple follow-up questions in confusion when someone in the field of sexuality tells someone else what they do because it’d be as common as hearing that someone is a nurse or a teacher.
For my personal wish for the future of sex, I hope that everyone, especially the future generations, let go of making decisions on their sex/dating lives solely on the basis of tradition or societal conditioning. Part of the problem I see in many people’s sex lives is that they’re content, but they aren’t truly happy because they’re held back by fear of something new or inhibiting beliefs that label certain aspects of sexuality as “dirty” or “wrong.” I want people to let go of whatever is holding them back from thriving in their intimate lives.
6. What are some of your favourite topics to blog about?
My favourite topics to blog about are the ones that involve me testing out products and revealing my experience using them. It’s always fun to run outside in anticipation as I receive a new sex toy or other intimacy boosting product to review because it provides a more personal aspect to my writing. As much as I love informing people about facts and interesting sexuality studies, I also want to give my audience specific tools and examples from my personal life so that readers can decide whether duplicating a positive experience of mine will help them live their most fulfilling sex lives.