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Clients are often looking for sure-fire ways to bring their partners to mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasms. And though a quick survey of women’s and men’s magazine covers may suggest otherwise, there are no guaranteed tricks that will work each and every time for each and every person.
Each person’s body is unique and our erogenous zones vary not only from person to person but from day to day. What works on Monday afternoon in the backseat of your car may do nothing for you on a Saturday night after enjoying a bottle of wine in front of a flickering fireplace. And it goes without saying that while one partner may scream with joy at a nice lubed finger in the bum, the same move might send another partner screaming and running for the hills.
Having said that, part of my work as a sexologist involves sharing techniques to help clients get started on their own journey of exploration and experimentation. Here are a few thoughts to inspire your own sexual voyage across the beautiful female form.
Erotic Touch Techniques for Vulva Play
1. Start Slowly: Explore the Whole Body First
Take your time to enjoy the entire surface of your partner’s body including the head, neck, shoulders, back, arms, elbows, hands, hips, legs and toes. Try avoiding the breasts, genitals and other sensitive areas (that vary from person to person) to build up intensity. You can use your fingers, hair, tongue, lips and any other body part you can dream up to offer a slow, sensual caress. You might want to start from the crown of the head and work your way toward the genitals. Then move down to the tip of the toes and back up to the midsection.
2. Tease Before You Please
As you work across the body, gently breathe or brush against sensitive areas without offering significant pressure or direct contact. This slow-build technique activates the nervous system and enhances blood flow, which can make every touch feel more intense. Let them ache with anticipation as arousal builds with every glancing brush and exhale.
3. Love the Vulva — No Need to Rush Inside
When the time comes to explore between the legs, avoid penetration at first. The vulva is designed for pleasure, and touching it with care, reverence and enthusiasm can yield rich rewards. Try gently rubbing your thumbs up and down the inner and outer labia. Use a generous amount of lube — we’re big fans of Womanizer Enhance — and keep your movements soft and intentional. Gradually increase pressure in response to their breath, moans or subtle movements.
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You can also create a tongue-like motion with your hand: flex your palm and fingers, lube them up with something long-lasting like We-Vibe Touch and move slowly over the pubic mound and vulva. This technique can mimic oral sex without your mouth getting tired — ideal for those long, lingering sessions.
If you’re not sure where to focus, remember: feedback is your friend. Ask them where they want more. Encourage them to guide your hands. Pleasure is personal, and consent is not just sexy — it’s essential.
Wanting More?
Looking to expand your skillset or better understand what’s going on below the belt? You might want to check out our deep dive into G-spots and Squirting or explore Multiple Orgasm Techniques to keep the pleasure flowing.
If you’re ready to turn up the intensity with something hands-on, the We-Vibe Rave is beautifully curved for G-spot massage, and it pairs well with partner play or solo exploration.
Be sure to check out our Mind-Blowing Oral: Clit Edition, if you’re looking to add some new moves to your repertoire and supercharge your skills. Use discount code DRJESSVIP when checking out to save!
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However you choose to play, go slow, be curious, and remember: it’s about connection, not perfection.
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