Thank you for reading, exploring and listening to our podcast — we’re always honoured to share these conversations with you and are so glad that you’re here.
If you’d like to support our work, check out our affiliate links and use our discount code DRJESSVIP to save when shopping for pleasure tools, relationship resources and more.
Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win!
This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! 
THANK YOU! 💜 (for real)
Sensual Manual Touch Techniques for Vulva Play
In Part I of this series, we left off between the legs after a slow full-body caress and tease. Now we’ll explore a few more approaches to sensuous touch to build up tension and intensify orgasmic response. Be reminded that this is not a perfect recipe for success, as every body is unique. Some will enjoy manual stimulation of the vulva, while others prefer a hands-off approach. The only way to know for sure is to ask. The following is intended as inspiration, not instruction.
Some thoughts on how to touch between her legs:
This is not a script or universal manual. Pleasure is personal. Some people with vulvas enjoy direct manual stimulation, while others may prefer to avoid hands altogether. The only way to know is to ask — and keep asking.
These suggestions are intended to inspire curiosity, not dictate direction.
How to Touch Between the Legs: Inspiration, Not Instruction
- Lube up your fingers on your dominant hand and make a W-shape with your index, middle and ring fingers. Place the “W” at the top of the vulva and slowly glide down toward the perineum, closing the fingers as you descend. Then reopen the “W” as you glide upward toward the pubic mound. This motion mimics a gentle massage, and you can add pressure according to your partner’s breath, moans or muscle tension. Repeat and vary pressure according to their responses. You can use your other hand to gently rub their thighs, abdomen, sides, breasts or legs.
- With a flat, lubed-up palm or two fingers, draw soft figure-eights over the labia and vaginal opening.
- Try pulling gently on the clitoral hood using fingers coated in generous lube — this provides indirect stimulation to the clitoral shaft and glans. (Want a visual refresher? Click here for a vulva diagram)
- Use both thumbs to draw small, slow circles over the entire vulva. Let your touch vary in rhythm and pressure.
- Pull up and down on the hood using only two fingers if you want to hone in on teasing and tension-building.
Want to Elevate the Experience?
Sensory play can deepen focus and connection. Consider adding:
- Feathers, silk ties, or a blindfold to heighten anticipation
- Lubricated gloves or textured condoms for variety and comfort
- A wearable vibe like the We-Vibe Moxie (check it out here → We-Vibe Moxie) — it adds a teasing buzz during partnered foreplay or solo exploration
Save with Code - DRJESSVIP • Turn heads & heat up – this wearable vibe clips in and keeps up with your wildest plans. • Control the tease – use the app for discreet public play (or long-distance delight). • Silent but strong – powerful vibes that stay your little secret. • Dr. Jess says: “Moxie+ makes boring outings way more exciting.”
This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! 
We-Vibe Moxie+
If you’re looking to enhance intimacy further, the Mini Wand is an excellent tool to incorporate into massage or external vulva play. Its soft silicone and rumbly vibrations offer broader stimulation and fit perfectly in your hand.
Try it here: Mini Wand
Save with Discount Code - DRJESSVIP •Curved head hits the G-Spot just right for deep pressure. •Steady vibration builds arousal and swelling for potential release. •Great for learning to squirt — no high intensity required. •Small and powerful — perfect for solo discovery or warm-up play.
This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! 
Mini Wand
Next up: Penetration (if desired)
In Part III, we’ll explore ways to touch internally — but only if that’s what you or your partner wants. Remember: external stimulation alone can be profoundly orgasmic for many.
Whether you’re experimenting with your own body or someone else’s, let go of goal-oriented thinking. Explore for the sake of connection and discovery, not performance.
And as always: use plenty of lube, communicate openly, go slow, and remember: there is no wrong way to touch if it’s consensual, comfortable and pleasurable.
Want more tips on vulva pleasure? You might enjoy this post on G-spots and squirting or explore emotional seduction to deepen connection through desire.
Subscribe to our newsletter for more sex and relationship advice you won’t find anywhere else.
And don’t forget to tune into the SexWithDrJess Podcast — new episodes drop regularly with tips, real stories and candid conversations.
If you’re curious about how to fine-tune your touch, tongue or toys to better meet a vulva-owner’s desires, explore our Mind-Blowing Oral: Clit Edition course — it’s packed with guided techniques, visuals and strategies rooted in pleasure and communication.
Mind-Blowing Oral: Clit Edition
50% OFF with code DRJESSVIP
Mind Blowing Oral Video Course: Clit Edition
Be creative, take your time and remember to use lots and lots of lube. Have fun and always practice safer sex.
