April 9, 2018
by Jessica O'Reilly

What You Need to Know About the ‘Bi-Cycle’

Embracing the “Bi-Cycle”: Fluid Desire in All Genders

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TL;DR – What is the Bi-Cycle?

The Bi-Cycle refers to natural fluctuations in sexual desire, orientation, and preferences—day-to-day, month-to-month, and over your lifespan.
This isn’t limited to bisexual folks, desire shifts are common across all genders and orientations, and that’s not just normal, it’s human.
Menstrual cycles can influence not just libido, but the type of sex and partners desired (e.g., rough vs. tender, solo vs. shared, gender preferences).
Anecdotal insights from clients reveal wide variations in attraction based on stress levels, hormonal shifts, energy, and body image.
Rigid sexual orientation categories often don’t reflect the fluid, cyclical nature of real desire.
Sexual fluidity matters: Embracing change fosters self-awareness, autonomy, and more fulfilling erotic lives, especially outside of the binary box.
Product picks for shifting desires:
- Mini Wand – versatile, compact, perfect for varying intensity needs.
- We-Vibe Sync – ideal for partners wanting to ride the bi-cycle together. (Don’t forget to stack discount codes with DRJESSVIP)
Suggested reads:
- Can Gender Bending Improve Sex?
- How to Get Your Libido Back
Keep exploring with the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast and subscribe to the newsletter for pleasure tools, tips & discounts.

What Is the Bi-Cycle?

Have you heard of the ‘bi-cycle’? By definition, the ‘bi-cycle’ means when people (not just bisexual people) find that their sexual preferences change from day to day or even minute to minute. It’s perfectly normal for your sexual desires to fluctuate throughout the month, but also over the long term. What you enjoy today is different than what you wanted five years ago and this is what keeps sex so exciting.

Hormones, Mood, and Menstrual Influence

Many cis and trans women report that it’s not only their sex drive that fluctuates with their menstrual cycles (as reported in earlier research with regard to ovulation and sexual interest) but also their specific sexual desires and fantasies.

Anecdotal Patterns of Desire

Many of the women I work with who are in CNM (consensually non-monogamous) relationships report that their interest and comfort with the CNM component of their relationship dips right before menstruation. This could be attributed to hormonal, but also to shifts in mood, energy levels and body image during the pre-menstrual phase of their cycles.

Other women report that their sexual fantasies change with their cycles. One client says that she likes rougher sex during the second and third week of their cycle and prefers more intimate, romantic encounters during the first and fourth week.

Why Fluidity Matters

Rigid binaries can leave many feeling boxed in. Recognizing that attraction and orientation can be fluid allows us to honor our authentic experiences without shame. Sexual agency means owning our desires—even when they surprise us.

I have some clients that find that their desire in terms of gender is fluid — sometimes it aligns with their cycle and other times it corresponds with what’s going on in their lives. I believe that fluidity in sexual attraction (with regard to gender and other factors) is more common than we realize; the problem is that we want to “classify” sexual orientation according to the gender binary (e.g. I’m attracted to men and I’m a woman, therefore, I’m straight), but this can be confusing for those who don’t buy into two rigid definitions of gender. It can also be confusing for those who find that their attraction varies according to their menstrual cycle.

Several of my clients who identify as bisexual have reported that they are only interested in men in the middle of their cycle — this corresponds with older research suggesting that women are more open to men’s sexual advances when they’re ovulating.

But I also have a cis female client who identifies as pansexual who reports that she’s most attracted to all genders when she’s on her period and less interested in any sexual partner (regardless of gender) during ovulation.

I have a cis male client who is married to a woman who reports that he’s only interested in sex with men during periods of high stress (at work).

I’d like to identify patterns from some of the anecdotal evidence I’ve observed, but it’s so varied that I’m not sure that I can.

Exploring Pleasure Tools

If you notice shifting needs in intensity or sensation, consider versatile toys. You may consider the Mini Wand for pinpoint stimulation, and the We-Vibe Sync for shared, harmonized play with a partner.

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