Podcast

Subscribe to the @SexWithDrJess Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Looking to be a guest on the @SexWithDrJess Podcast? Fill out our submission form and someone from our team will get back to you!

Do you have a sex and/or relationship question and you’re looking to learn more? Fill out our Podcast Question Form or leave us a message here and we’ll do our best to address your inquiry in an upcoming episode!

Episode 317 – Improve Sexual Self-Esteem & Communication

Curious about how to overcome sexual repression and boost sexual self-esteem? Dr. Tara has you covered. She joins Jess to share her personal story of sexual empowerment — from shame to She also shares tips to improve sexual communication even if your partner isn’t 100% on board.

 

Episode 316 – Real-Life Sex Confessions: AURORE

Curious about what other people get up to behind closed doors and online? Carly from AURORE is here to share. She collects confessional sex stories submitted by people from all over the world. Tune in for her story and; a sampling of real-life literary (and audial) erotica.

 

Episode 315 – How to improve sleep for better relationships (and better sex)

• Are your sleep habits adversely affecting your relationships?
• Is a lack of sleep affecting your sex life?
• Do you want to sleep better and wake up rested?

Board-certified sleep expert Ellen Wermter joins us to share her top tips for a better night’s sleep and why sleep is essential to happy relationships.

 

Episode 314 – Marriage Advice From A Divorce Lawyer

Family lawyer Justin Lee sees relationships and marriages from both sides: couples come to him before they get married (or move in together) and when the relationship has come to an end. His perspective offers a view of the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

Episode 313 – 3 Conversations To Save A Relationship: Why? How? What?

In this quickie episode, Jess and Brandon reflect upon a recent argument and share three conversations to address relationship issues. They share their personal perspectives and delve into the importance of addressing three main points when you’re struggling:

1. Why you want to work on the relationship

2. How you’re feeling vs how you want to feel

3. What you want & what you’re willing to compromise

 

Episode 312 – Secrets of A Happy Couple (After 35+ Years!)

Mike and Denise are one of the happiest couples ever. They’ve been together since they were teenagers, raised two kids, run a family business, and they’re still loving, happy and playful. Have a listen to their story and “secrets” in this casual, candid conversation with Jess and Brandon (Mike is Jess’ cousin BTW). There are no magic pills for happy marriages, but every story counts. Warning: gushing contained herein.

 

Episode 311 – Scheduling Sex, Erectile Issues & Sexual Avoidance

• Is scheduling sex a good idea?
• And how do you deal with a partner – who is struggling with erection issues?
• Is avoidance of sex but engagement with porn an indication; of a Madonna-whore complex?

We discuss all this and more with the therapist Kat Kova.

 

Episode 310 – Pelvic Floor Essentials: The Key To Sexual Health From Puberty to Menopause

Pelvic floor function is essential to sexual health a pleasure, but how much do you know about this key region? Do you know…

• At what age should you start thinking about the pelvic floor?
• What daily activities are hard – on the pelvic floor?
• Which movements can support pelvic floor health?
• How to care for your pelvic floor during pregnancy?
• How menopause affects the pelvic floor?

 

Episode 309 – Open Relationships & Polyamory

• What questions should you consider if you’re thinking of opening up your relationship?
• What issues do couples commonly face when considering polyamory?
• What is brainspotting?
• What should solo polyamorous folks consider when dating couples?
• Which dating sites are best for open relationships?

We’re joined by marriage and family therapist Joy Berkheimer who weighs in on these questions and shares her personal experience with swinging and polyamory.

 

Episode 308 – Help! We’re not sexually compatible

Sex therapist Dr. Donna Oriowo joins us to answer your questions about sex and relationships.

• How do you manage sexual incompatibility?
• What do you do when one of you wants sex all the time and the other has trouble getting in the mood?
• And how do you get yourself in the mood to be a “giver” when it doesn’t come naturally?

 

Episode 307 – Can Gender-Bending Improve Sex?

• Do you have trouble expressing your desires in bed?
• Are you nervous – to open up about your fantasies?
• Do you have difficulty tapping into sexual turn-ons?

It is possible that the shame of strict gender roles plays is holding you back from experiencing deeper pleasure, so Dr. Candice Nicole joins Jess & Brandon to help you shed gender shame and bend gender all in the name of hotter sex.

 

Episode 306 – Quickie Q&A: Should you change for a partner & how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you?

How much can you ask a partner to change?
And how do you know if non-monogamy is the right choice for you?

Jess and Brandon discuss these listener questions and share their (imperfect) perspectives in this quickie episode.

 

Episode 305 – Chore Wars: How To Stop Arguing Over Housework

We are riding a high after appearing on The TODAY Show this morning! Hoda and Jenna were the warmest hosts and in this week’s episode we dig a little deeper into one of their viewer questions about housework and how to stop keeping score. Tune in for 6 specific strategies you can use to reduce tension, conflict and stave off resentment in the long-run.

 

Episode 304 – Why We Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Jess & Brandon weigh in on why they don’t love V-Day and answer questions from listeners; who wants to have a happier Valentine’s — free from pressure. They weigh in on what to do if your partner refuses to celebrate and offer; some alternative ways to celebrate beyond chocolates and roses. We hope you don’t use this as an excuse to avoid celebrating. Instead, we hope it inspires deeper conversations about the meaning we attach to holidays, celebrations and expressions of love.

 

Episode 303 – How To Build Emotional Intimacy

Intimacy is about so much more than sex. It can be emotional, relational, practical, physical, spiritual and so much more. This week, Jess and Brandon share prompts to help cultivate emotional connection as they work their way through the Intimacy Interview.

 

Episode 302 – Reset Your Relationship In 2 Minutes

Take a few minutes to slow down and reconnect with this simple exercise designed for emotional connection, physical intimacy and mindfulness. It’s not a magic pill, but just two minutes may be worth a shot. Jess & Brandon give it a whirl and share their honest reactions.

 

Episode 301 – 7 Minutes of Sex: Desensitization?

It’s time to debunk the myth of the “dead vagina syndrome” and overcome hangups about vibrators – so that; we can all enjoy more pleasure!

 

Episode 300 – Kinks, Fetishes & Pervertibles

Jess and Brandon weigh in on your kinky questions in this quickie episode.

What’s the difference between a fetish and a kink?
How common are kinks and fetishes?
What are the most common fetishes?
How do I move when thrusting during sex?
What are some household objects that I can use as kinky pervertible?

 

Episode 299 – Help! I’m only attracted to the “wrong type” & what to do when I’m no longer “in love”

Why am I only attracted to “toxic” partners?
How can I heal & move on from old wounds?
What do I do when I love my partner, but I’m no longer “in love”?
How do you define love?
How do I deal with a partner who blames everyone else for their problems?

Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon joins Jess & Brandon to answer your relationship questions. She explains why we sometimes avoid healthy relationships and; why we might; be drawn to harmful ones. And she also provides a nuanced look at how learning and healing from old wounds can help us to change the future — without dwelling on the past. Finally, they discuss how couples can deal with the challenge of loving one another while no longer being “in love”.

 

Episode 298 – Revolutionize Relationships In 2023

Let’s start 2023 on the right foot with some easy strategies for happier, more fulfilling relationships of – all kinds. Jess and Brandon share; 7 simple resolutions ranging from the sexual to the practical.

 

Episode 297 – How To Let Go of Judgment & Shame

Naked News host & producer Laura Desiree joins us to talk about her career in journalism and her journey to living a life free of shame and full of pleasure. She discusses the stigma associated with nudity and the erotic and shares strategies for letting go of the self-judgment that holds us back from living our best lives.

 

Episode 296 – Full Body Orgasms

Want to experiment with orgasms?
Explore pleasure across every square inch of your body with this head-to-toe pleasure guide that will help you get out of your head and into your body.

 

Episode 295 – Nipple Orgasms & What To Do When Your Partner Can’t Orgasm

Jess & Brandon share techniques for mind-blowing nipple orgasms and uncover some of the hottest pleasure-zones, including the F-Spot, the 3-Spot & the R-Spot. They also share strategies for supporting a partner who can’t orgasm because he “gets in his head.”

 

Episode 294 – How To Have Different Types Of Orgasms Part I

From clitoral orgasms to prostate orgasms to G-Spot orgasms and everything in-between, Jess and Brandon share tips & personal insights & experiences on orgasm. They also discuss how height affects sexual pleasure and chat about the Peony & Mushroom sex toys.

 

Episode 293 – Have More Fun With Orgasms!

• What makes an orgasm bigger or better?
• How do you know if you or a partner has had an orgasm?
• Can some bodies orgasm more easily than others?

 

Episode 292 – Q&A: Help! My partner picks porn over me

• How do you talk about porn in relationships?
• What if you disagree about porn?
• Why would a partner opt for porn and masturbation over partnered sex?

Jess & Brandon weigh in on a listener question related to her fiancé’s porn use. They share communication prompts and strategies for discussion porn when you and your partner are not on the same page.

 

Episode 291 – Lessons From A Porn Star: Orgies, Love & More!

• What makes for a successful orgy?
• What really goes down at a porn shoot?
• Why do sexual rights matter?
• What is the porn star experience?

Journalist, hip-hop artist, and porn performer, Malcolm Lovejoy, joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on music, sexual rights, the adult industry, orgies, sex clubs, and more.

 

Episode 290 – Sexual Communication

Do you sometimes feel like you talk a lot, but your partner doesn’t really hear you? Have you told them what you like, but they don’t seem to get it? This week, we weigh in on how to overcome blockages that hinder sexual communication.

 

Episode 289 – The Sex Spreadsheet

This week, Jess & Brandon are sharing tips and tools from some of the happy couples they’ve met over the past month. Tune in to find out about sex spreadsheets & boobs-around-the-world.

 

Episode 288 – Better Blow Jobs Pt II

From “The Tunnel” and the “Claudia” to “The Twist N Shout” and “The Cheater”, tune in for advanced oral sex techniques designed to take pleasure to new heights. You’ll learn to stimulate the inner penis, intensify orgasms and explore new hot spots to keep your lover coming back for more.

 

Episode 287 – Better Blow Jobs Pt I

Boost your confidence and skills when it comes to giving (and receiving) oral sex. There are no sure-fire tips or techniques for better blow jobs, but Jess & Brandon have some insights to help you discover new pathways to pleasure.

From the “Liquid Trace” to the “Air Head” to the “F-Spot”, tune in to discover novel approaches to blow your lover’s mind.

 

Episode 286 – Hot-Husbanding Threesome Q

What is hot husbanding, and how can you pursue a threesome safely? Jess weighs in on a question from a hot-husband wife in this quickie episode.

 

Episode 285 – Better in Bed: 15 Oral Sex Tips

Boost your sexual confidence and pleasure with some very specific tips and techniques for hotter oral (clitoral edition). From the “cross-my-fingers” to the “pussy pocket,” Jess shares 15+ approaches to hotter sex in this quickie episode.

 

Episode 284 – Non-Monogamy: One Couples’ Story

Emma and Fin met in middle school, started dating in college, and have been practising non-monogamy for 15 years. They share their story of falling in love, navigating double dates with other couples, and eventually exploring polyamory as part of a quad. We promise that – their story and insights are valuable regardless of whether you’re monogamous or non-monogamous, so have a listen!

 

Episode 283 – How to be more understanding & supportive (and get more of what you need)

Do you know how to offer support when a loved one is stressed out? Do you feel supported when you’re distressed?
This week, we share an exercise to help you talk about; your specific needs to deepen understanding and get more of what you want (and less of what you don’t want) in your relationships.

 

Episode 282 – The Most Common Sexual Fantasies (And How To Talk About Them)

Jess and Brandon discuss research – related to the most common sexual fantasies — from threesomes and group sex to sex with older partners and more. They also share a bit about their own fantasies, and Jess talks about the fantasies she hears about from clients. Finally, they share strategies to open up to your partner(s) about your most intimate fantasies.

 

Episode 281 – How To Talk To Youth About Sex, Porn & Sexting

• When should you start talking about porn (literacy)?
• How can you support a teen who has been sexting?
• How do you explain where babies come from to a 4-year-old?
• What is the first thing parents should teach kids about sex?
• What are some ethical porn sites for 18+-years-old?

Dr. Karen Rayne, author, educator, and executive director of UnHushed, joins us to answer your questions about sex education and how to talk to youth about sex & relationships.

 

Episode 280 – How to meet at a sex club

This week, we share advice for shy couples at a sex club — how to meet new people, language to open conversations, and how to prep for awkward conversations.

 

Episode 279 – Sex Q&A Quickie

• Should I use Kegel balls?
• What’s a good prostate toy that’s not too big?
• Can I isolate my vaginal and anal muscles in pelvic floor contractions?
• Do I have a wedding ring fetish?

Jess answers your questions on this week’s quickie episode.

 

Episode 278 – Hooking up Safely

• How can you prepare for a hookup if you’ll be partying with drugs & alcohol?
• What protection should you use for different types of sex?
• How do I talk to my teens about hookups?

Jess discuss hookups — in college and beyond.

 

Episode 277 – When the clitoris doesn’t work

Not everyone loves having their clitoris touched. In this episode, we hear from a listener who has a specific list of dos & don’ts – when it comes to sexual pleasure. We explore different types of orgasms and pathways to pleasure beyond the clit.

 

Episode 276 – Sex Playlists!

What do sex and music have in common, and what’s the best music to enhance your sexual experience? Jess and Brandon explore the erotic-musical connection and share their ideal sex playlists.

 

Episode 275 – How to get your libido back

Why does sexual desire plummet and how can you get it back? This week – Jess shares specific tools, tips, and strategies to reignite sexual desire. She also explores the concept of responsive vs. spontaneous desire, the Fire & Ice list, and more!

 

Episode 274 – How to stop sexual harassment

How can you recognize sexual harassment & what can you do to stop it?
What language can you use to interrupt a harasser?
How can you approach a stranger in a way that is respectful and fruitful?

We share strategies for being an ally, speaking up, and stopping harassment at the gym and beyond.

 

Episode 273 – Fighting on vacation? How to have a happy (& hotter) trip

Want to have hotter sex on your summer vacation? It starts with a harmonious relationship. This week, we share tips and strategies to help you enjoy a smooth ride — whether you’re travelling by plane, train or automobile. From the 80/20 rule to love letters at 30,000 feet, we’ve got you covered.

 

Episode 272 – Hookup Culture, Sugar-Dating & College Sex

• What’s sex like on college campuses?
• Who is having more sex/hookups?
• What role does religion play in college sex?
• Have college students bridged the orgasm gap?

Dr. Aditi Paul, author, researcher, and professor joins us to share the results of her research with college students. She shares insights on international students’ sex habits, sugar-dating, Greek life, and much more.

 

Episode 271 – Discordant Couples: When One Partner Wants An Open Relationship

• What do you do when one partner wants to open up the relationship; and the other wants to stay monogamous?
• How do you broach the topic?
• What issues tend to arise among discordant couples?

Dr. Liz Powell is an author, sex educator, keynote speaker, and licensed psychologist specializing in non-traditional relationships. They join us to weigh in on this topic and share their perspective as a therapist who also identifies as polyamorous.

 

Episode 270 – Erotic Embodiments & Polymorphously Perverse Playgrounds of Pleasure

• What are erotic embodiments?
• Why should we all consider erotic role models?
• How do we embrace and expand pleasure in our bodies?
• What are the benefits of learning about gender beyond the binary — personally and professionally?
• How can thinking beyond the gender binary lead to more pleasure?

 

Episode 269 – Trauma & Therapy & Writing As A form of Healing

• How do you begin to process trauma?
• How do you know if you need to process past trauma?
• Is it ever too late to process trauma?
• What are some ways to process trauma beyond psychotherapy?
• Why do we sometimes become “evangelical” about going to therapy?
• How can writing be therapeutic?

Author and psychotherapist; Farzana Doctor – shares her personal story of breaking up, falling in love & exploring polyamory — all while going through peri-menopause. She shares insights on processing trauma later in life, rethinking self-disclosure in therapy, and writing as a form of healing. She also shares a reading from her new book of poetry, You Still Look The Same.

 

Episode 268 – How do I give my partner an orgasm?

From physical techniques to setting the scene and riling them up, Dr. Jess shares tips, strategies, and approaches to pleasure and orgasm.

 

Episode 267 – Masochism and The Pleasure of Pain

• What is masochism and why can pain feel so good?
• How do you differentiate between safe indulgences and pain versus self-harm?
• How can you begin to explore masochism for your own pleasure?
• How do you ensure consent while playing with pain and pleasure?

 

Episode 266 – Narcissism & Toxic TV with Tasha Bailey

• What are some signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist?
• Does narcissism exist along a spectrum?
• How can you manage narcissistic behaviours — with a partner, parent, or other loved one?
• What does it say about us if we love toxic TV (like The Ultimatum)?
• What are trauma glimmers?

Psychotherapist Tasha Bailey joins us to answer these questions and many more!

 

Episode 265 – Open Relationships: Psychology, Attachment Styles & Communication

• How do you build compassionate open relationships?
• How do attachment styles show up in non-monogamous relationships?
• What is a non-hierarchical arrangement?
• How can you heal from previous trauma?
• How can you be more conscious in your relationships (and in life more generally)?

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Kate Loree, joins us to address these questions and share insights from her new book, Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships.

 

Episode 264 – Couples’ Therapy: Issues, Trends & Advice

What are the most common issues in therapy today?
Should new couples go to therapy?
How do you know if you’re a good fit or if you’re forcing it?
How do you invest in the relationship without overanalyzing it?

April Grigsby joins us to weigh in with insights from her practice. She is a licensed clinical social worker based in New York City and is focused on empathic listening and building up her clients’ strengths so they can solve problems. She empowers individuals to manage anxiety, depression, life transitions, and identity challenges. She also works with couples to improve relationship dynamics.

 

Episode 263 – Sexual Health Qs Answered: Erections, Orgasms, Hormones & More!

Board – certified urologist; Dr. Joshua Gonzalez joins us to answer your sexual health questions.

What can I do about ED? Are there natural treatment options for someone on blood pressure meds?
How can I deal with Interstitial Cystitis?
What can I do about vaginal atrophy, itchiness, and irritation?
Should I be worried that one testicle pulls up into my body at orgasm?
Can I speed up my orgasm? I have delayed ejaculation.
What can I do to improve the taste of my ejaculate?

Our guest, Dr. Josh Gonzalez is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine and specializes in the management of sexual dysfunctions. He completed his medical education at Columbia University and his urological residency at the Mount Sinai Medical Center. Throughout his career, Dr. Gonzalez has focused on advocating for sexual health and by; providing improved healthcare to the LGBTQ+ community.

 

Episode 262 – How To Intensify Sex: Elevated Erotic Feelings

Take your pleasure to the next level by exploring the emotions that intensify the experience. Your elevated erotic feelings (EEFs), can heighten physical pleasure, psychological thrill, emotional fulfilment, intimate connection, spiritual experience, and much more. In most cases, no physical technique or position can compare to exploring the emotional dimensions of pleasure, so this week, we dive deeper into the emotional-erotic connection.

 

Episode 261 – Emotional Seduction: The Core Erotic Feeling

How do you need to feel in order to get in the mood for sex? Relaxed? Loved? Safe? Desired?

Your core erotic feeling (CEF) is the feeling you require in order to get in the mood for sex, and it can revolutionize the way you approach pleasure, seduction, and sex.

If you or a partner; have trouble getting in the mood, or if you find that erotic touch often isn’t enough – this episode will help you better understand the emotional-erotic connection, so you can have all the hot sex you desire.

 

Episode 260 -Sissification, Fetishes & Chastity Play

What is the appeal of sissification?
How do you introduce kinky play to a partner?
What are the 7 types of sissification?
How can consensual humiliation become erotic?

Sexologist & psychotherapist Carlos Cavazos (pronounced Kuh-Voss-oh’s) joins us to share his experience and perspective on kinks, fetishes, gender-bending, and much more! Check out Carlos’ The Naughtylicious Sex Podcast, and learn more about his practice at Counseling By Carlos. And don’t forget to give Carlos a follow on his Twitter account!

 

Episode 259 – Safer Sex & STIs: What You Need To Know

How often should you get tested?
What are the risks of oral sex?
What are the risks of giving oral when you have a cold sore?
How can you reduce the risk of STI transmission?
What do STI tests entail?
Can you get any STIs from a toilet seat or bed sheets?
How soon should you get tested after potential exposure?

Dr. Ina Park, author of Strange Bedfellows, Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs joins us to answer all of our questions about making sex safer and de-stigmatizing STIs.

Episode 258 – How To Have Multiple Orgasms: Part II (For Clitorises)

How can I use my breath to explore multiple orgasms?
Are there different types of multiple orgasms?
How many orgasms can you have in one session?
How do I have full-body orgasms?

We explore these questions and more while sharing techniques and strategies for more pleasure (and more orgasms) — from the “cup and pulse” technique to the blended orgasm, you’re sure to find something new to try whether your partnered or solo.

 

Episode 257 -Kinky Tapas: Psychological Kink, Dominance & More

Luna Matatas & Marla Renee Stewart join us to offer a sneak peek into their Kinky Tapas retreat. They answer all of our questions including:

How do I begin to explore my dominant side?
What’s the difference between Dominance & submission versus Topping and Bottoming?
How do I ensure safety when exploring psychological kink?
How do I introduce a bit of kink into our existing sexual routine?
When can pain be pleasurable?
How can I explore genital worship and torture?

 

Episode 256 – 12 Strategies To Manage Rejection

Do you struggle with rejection?
How does your response vary from the boardroom to the bedroom?
Do layers of your identity affect how you deal with rejection?

We surveyed our community regarding their experiences of rejection, and we shared their insights in this week’s episode. We think it’s a great one! Thank you to those who sent messages. We appreciate you.

 

Episode 255 – Rejection: What To Do When Someone Pulls Away

What should you do when a love interest pulls back out of nowhere? Perhaps you’re hitting it off and then all of a sudden things change — texts messages become sparser, response times are longer or they simply wait for you to initiate. They’re still engaged and don’t seem to want to end things, but you’re left feeling confused and rejected. Jess & Brandon weigh in with their thoughts and scripts to help you respond and they also talk about their experiences with rejection.

 

Episode 254 – Healthy Relationships & Human Trafficking

Can you recognize the signs of human trafficking? Would you know what to do to support someone who is being victimized by a trafficker? February 22 is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day, so this week we’re discussing prevalence, signs, and what you can do if you or someone you know is at risk.

 

Episode 253 – Quick Connection Exercise for Couples

Want to boost connection & appreciation in a matter of minutes? In this episode, we work our way through this short activity, One Thing I Love About You. You can try it with a partner or anyone else you love. It’s simple and you can power through it in a few minutes if you keep things short and sweet.

 

Episode 252 -The Hottest Phone Sex Tips

Phone sex can be smokin’ hot — for auditory lovers, long-distance play partners, and anyone who wants to spice things up with dirty talk and fantasy exploration. Jess and Brandon share their thoughts and tips for the hottest phone sex, along with a few lines you can use to get started if you’re feeling shy or awkward.

 

Episode 251 -How To Have Multiple Orgasms (Part I)

Want to explore dry orgasms, multiple orgasms, edging, and more? We’ve got specific strategies and techniques you can experiment with tonight — all in the name of multiplying pleasure.

 

Episode 250 – How To Have Bigger, Better Orgasms

You don’t have to intensify your orgasms, but if you want to explore techniques to do so, we’ve got you covered. We share easy strategies you can try tonight! We also discuss the Foot Locker ejaculator incident and sex in public parks.

 

Episode 249 – Ghost-facing Q&A

Today’s quickie answers a few viewer questions about why ghost-facing is all the rage and how to spice things up when mobility is limited.

 

Episode 248 – (Quality) Time Management In Relationships

How much time should you spend together?
What constitutes quality time?
How do you talk about your need for alone time, and time apart?
How do you divide your time when you’re busy and there never seems to be enough time?

In this episode, Jess and Brandon share their personal responses to the questions in the “Talking About Time Discussion” — questions and reflection prompts for better time management in relationships. You can utilize it with a partner or any other loved one and use these prompt to get started.

 

Episode 247 – Relationship Resolutions for 2022

Want more pleasure and passion? How about more mindful connections and a boost in self-esteem? We don’t have all the answers, but we’re sharing a few resolutions and intentions for the new year — for happier relationships all around.

 

Episode 246 – Year-End Reflection Questions for Fulfilling Relationships

This week, we share (and try out!) a simple 3-step exercise to reflect upon 2021 and plan for a happy 2022. Coach Sonia Zarbatany also joins us to talk about our new coaching program and share her tips for better dating and happy marriage.

 

Episode 245 – The Best Gift Ever 2021! It’s Free & Last-Minute Friendly

We’re doing it again! There is almost nothing better than sharing how you feel about your partner, and this “dating profile” gift is a simple, powerful gift that keeps on giving. Jess’ cousin Annabella & her cousin-in-law Denise (Anna’s mom) join us to share this homemade, no-cost, gift: a thoughtful and simple dating profile written for a loved one. Jess also shares one she wrote for her Mom, and Brandon and Jess share one another’s.

We encourage you to try this one yourself and let us know how it goes!

 

Episode 244 – Ethical Non-Monogamy & Open Relationships

How do you know if opening up is right for you?
How do you tell your partner that you’re interested in ethical/consensual non-monogamy?
What’s the difference between swinging and polyamory?
What if you want a different ENM arrangement than your partner (e.g. they want to swing and you want to explore polyamory)

Sex Goddess & Erotic Educator Taylor Sparks, joins us to share her experience and advice. She is the founder of Organic Loven, the largest BIPOC owned online organic intimacy shop & works to improve sex lives around the world.

 

Episode 243 – Fetishes, Pleasure In Pain & Masturbation

We’re answering your questions this week including:

• Can you please talk about fart fetishes?
• Should I be worried that my new boyfriend finds pleasure in pain?
• Can you share some embarrassing ways people masturbate?
• How do I clean my vagina?

 

Episode 242 – Emotional Expression: How To Open Up

This week we discuss therapy and emotional expression with the mental health practitioner and author of Man, Just Express Yourself, James Harris. He shares advice for those who are resistant to therapy, as well as tips for opening up and getting your loved ones to do the same.

 

Episode 241 – Hand Job Tips & One Hotwife’s Story

Want to give a hotter hand job? Check out our quick tips, and then join us as we switch gears and have a candid discussion with a Hotwife couple, John & Tiffany. They talk about their story — from high school sweethearts to the parents of two teens — to a very happy couple in the Hotwife lifestyle. They share how they got started and explain why they find Hotwifing so fulfilling — and why you might too!

 

Episode 240 – Finding Pleasure in Liberation: Gender, Body Image & Communication

What does it mean to be non-binary?
How about gender fluid? And queer?
Why does language matter?
How can we reconnect with our bodies?
How can we liberate ourselves from gender roles in the name of more pleasure?
How can we effectively communicate our needs to partners?

Non-Binary Gender & Sex Therapist-Turned Coach, Rae McDaniel joins us to answer these questions and more.

 

Episode 239 – Pegging, Fetishes & Sex Toys

Luna Matatas joins us to answer these questions and much more as she walks us through sex across Canada — from Charlottetown, PEI to Lions’ Bay, BC.

What is pegging and how do you get started?
How do you choose the right harness and strap-on?
What are the best positions for pegging?
Why do you lose your erection during butt play?
What are the best toys for all types of orgasms?
What is the difference between a fetish and a kink?

 

Episode 238 –  Camming, Mental Health & Motherhood

Harper The Fox joins Jess & Brandon to share her story — 2 weeks postpartum. She talks about her work in camming, cartoon cam models, working on OnlyFans and Chaturbate while pregnant & the importance of supporting mental health for sex workers.

 

Episode 237 – How To Seduce & Make Sex More Pleasurable

We love hearing from you, and this week, we answer your sex and relationship questions including:

How do I help my partner relax and enjoy hotter sex?
Should we open our relationship up to swinging?
How do I deal with my friends shaming me for making porn?
Should I share my secret erotica with my wife?

 

Episode 236 – Porn Literacy, Communication & Setting Boundaries With Loved Ones

Sex educator Justine Ang Fonte joins us to talk about porn literacy, how parents can talk to kids about pleasure, and how we can set boundaries with friends, loved ones, and partners. She shares the three things parents should consider when talking to kids about sex and online content as well advice on how to get over our discomforts talking about sex. She also walks us through some challenging scenarios and provides scripts for saying no and asking for what you want.

 

Episode 235 – Date Night Special & Sex In South Beach

Dr. Sonjia, the author of the best-selling book Sex in South Beach, joins us to talk about the intersection of sexuality and medicine, how to have better sex, and the ultimate date night indulgence.

 

Episode 234 – Trauma Triggers In Relationships

What is a trauma trigger?
How does it show up in the body?
How can you recognize your triggers and communicate your needs to your partner?
As the partner of someone who has experienced trauma, how can you be more supportive?

Therapist Anna Baxter joins us to share their knowledge about therapy, trauma, working with couples, and more.

 

Episode 233 – Tantra with Tyomi

Superstar Tyomi Morgan shares her advice and insights on Authentic Tantra and how you can integrate the practice into your life for more pleasure and connection — in and out of the bedroom.

 

Episode 232 – Sexuality: Activism, Anarchism & Academia

Maggie (our student intern), interviews Dr. Ryan Conrad, an activist, artist, and scholar. They discuss activism within academia, issues within queer politics, radical openness, sex work, and more. Dr. Conrad shares insight on his contradicting feelings related to academia, gay marriage, and intersectional versus co-constituted identity.

 

Episode 231 – How To Manage Rejection

Can you handle rejection? Have you practised this essential life skill? What can you learn from rejection? And how can you check your avoidance behaviours?

Couples and Intimacy Therapist, Brittanni Young, joins us to share her powerful insights on rejection, expectations, avoidance, and more.

 

Episode 230 – The Body Scan

Feeling tense or distracted? Looking to feel more connected to your body and/or more present in the current moment? Carve out a few minutes to reset with our guided body scan from our Mindful Sex course.

In under ten minutes, you should be on your way to feeling more relaxed and more open to all types of connection (and pleasure).

 

Episode 229 – Happy Vaginas, Fibroids & Discharge

Board-certified gynecologic surgeon and author of This Is How You Vagina, Dr. Nicole Williams joins us to share her knowledge and wisdom on the following questions and more.

What makes discharge normal? How can you tell if something is awry?
What myths hold us back from loving our vaginas?
Why might your vulva be itchy?
How do fibroids affect sex and pleasure?

 

Episode 228 – How To Let Go Of Resentment

Are you holding onto resentments? Is resentment holding you back from being present and full of joy? Do you have difficulty expressing how you feel or do you feel confined to specific roles?

Tune into this conversation with psychotherapist Roxanne Francis as she guides us through:

How resentment builds
How to let go of resentment in relationships
How resentment is tied to avoidance and vulnerability
Techniques to move through the process of managing resentment — from both sides
Ways to process emotions constructively

 

Episode 227 – The Business of Sex: How To Become A Sexologist

This week, we flip the scripts and our intern, Maggie Lee, interviews Jess about her journey into the field of sexuality. They talk education, equity, the business of sex and Jess shares her insights for the next generation of sexuality professionals.

 

Episode 226 – The Relationship Check-In

This week we share our relationship check-in — short(ish), sweet and unscripted.

 

Episode 225 – Q&A: Ruined Orgasms, Sleep Orgasms & More

We respond to your questions about sleep orgasms, ruined orgasms, forced orgasms, vaginal taste and more.

 

Episode 224 – Does Size Matter?

What’s really average when it comes to penis size and does it really matter? How do we get over our hang ups around size so that we can all feel confident in our bodies? Should you use certain positions according to size? And are condoms really one-size-fits-all? Jess and Brandon share their perspectives and are joined by Milla Impola  of ONE condoms.

 

Episode 223 – Better Boners: Erection Facts, Fiction & Advice

Urologist, Dr. Denise Asafu-Ajei, joins us to answer your questions about erections:

How can you prevent erectile dysfunction?
How do you treat erectile issues?
How do you know if erectile issues are psychological or physiological in nature?
What can you do if you lose your erection?
How do you manage anxiety to reduce negative feedback loops?

 

Episode 222 – Sexual Communication Tips: Erection Loss, Libido Issues, & Pressure

This podcast is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app for couples and singles where they’re a pioneer in allowing couples to explore dating together as a pair. Feeld is for everyone from the experienced to the curious.

Jess & Brandon answer listener questions related to erection loss, anxiety, libido, social norms and how to start difficult conversations.

 

Episode 221 – How To Prep For A Threesome

In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome — for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners’ insights on threesomes and discuss couples’ privilege.

 

Episode 220 – Threesomes: Who, What, Why & How?

Most people fantasize about threesomes, but not many people actually dive in. In part I of our Threesomes podcast, we dive into the data and get some practical advice from Justin Lehmiller who answers your questions including:

How common are threesomes?
What counts as a threesome?
How does a threesome affect relationships for couples?
Who is having threesomes?
How do people find threesomes (e.g. through apps like Feeld)?
What’s the appeal of threesomes?

 

Episode 219 – Polyamory, Coming Out & Emotional Consent

Sydney Rae Chin joins us to share her personal experience as a closeted queer woman who grew up Chinese-American-Catholic. She shares some really valuable advice on how to navigate emotional consent and leaves us with tools for navigating boundaries and honouring our own values.

They dive deep into conversation around polyamory, monogamy, and coming out to their family answering these questions and more!

Can you have monogamous relationships as a polyamorous person?
Can polyamory & monogamy co-exist in a relationship?
How do you cultivate emotional consent and communicate emotional boundaries?
How do you come out to family — as polyamorous or queer?
How do culture and gender intersect with experiences of polyamory?

 

Episode 218 – Master Dirty Talk: 60+ Tips & Examples

Are you comfortable talking dirty? Do you feel silly trying new lines, approaches and scenarios? You’re not alone. Jess and Brandon share their struggles (while sharing a few laughs) and offer guidance & strategies for all types of dirty talk from sweet and romantic to naughty and kinky. They try out dozens of lines that you can practice on your own and share with a partner (or two!).

 

Episode 217 – Signs Of Enmeshment In Relationships (And what you can do about it)

Dr. Lexx is a phenomenal sex therapist, educator, and media consultant. The #CouplesClinician runs The Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy, LLC and is an Amazon best-selling author! She’s the coolest nerd you’ll ever meet and she’s passionate about helping clients build, maintain, and perpetuate true intimacy with #shamefreesexed.

This week, Dr. Lexx joins us to talk about adipositivity & enmeshment in relationships. She shares insights on how to recognize enmeshed dynamics and strategies for managing enmeshment.

 

Episode 216 – How Much Does Sexual Compatibility Matter?

Jess & Brandon weigh in on these questions and much more! Plus we’ve got a sex toy give-away from Romp Toys, so be sure to tune in!

How do know know if you’re sexually compatible?
What can you do if you’re not sexually compatible?
What are the keys to sexual compatibility?
What’s the difference between desire and identity?
Should you break up if you’re not sexually compatible?
How can you find middle ground if you’re not feeling compatible?

 

Episode 215 – Anal Play: Positions, Prep & Pleasure!

Backdoor play can be highly erotic, but it can also be uncomfortable if you don’t know how to prep and play. Surgeon and sexual health expert, Dr. Evan Goldstein, joins us to share his expertise so that you can enjoy even more pleasure — before, during and after anal sex. He answers a range of questions including:

How can we make anal sex more pleasurable for first timers?
What positions are best?
Can anal sex stretch/damage the anus or rectum?
What’s normal when it comes to poop?
What is Future Method and how can it help with preparing for anal sex?
What is anal training and why is it important?
How can you facilitate relaxation before you start to play?
What is the structure of the butt in terms of musculature and why is important to get to know your own butt?

 

Episode 214 – Kinky Sex, Race & Social Justice

Dr. Ali Mushtaq joins us to share his journey from a conservative upbringing to leather title holder and discusses how BDSM education can be more inclusive and justice-oriented.

When and why is it important to talk about race in BDSM?
How can we bring anti-oppression frameworks to kinky spaces?
How do you walk to a partner about racial inequality?
What is sexual racism and how does it cause harm — physically and emotionally?
How do power dynamics develop in relation to erotic associations?

 

Episode 213 – Solo Sex, Dating, Edging & More

We’re joined by Dr. Megan Stubbs, author of Playing without a partner, a single’s guide to sex, dating, and happiness, who weighs in on these questions and more!

What are the advantages of being single?
Is it okay to keep going back to my ex?
What does it mean if my partner of over a year hasn’t said I love you?
Is autocunnlingus possible?
What is edging?
Why is everyone always complaining about dating and what can we do about it?
How can you talk to a new partner about sensitive topics?
What can you do if you’re gassy on a date

 

Episode 212 – Exes, Erogenous Zones & Erotic Massage

This week we explore surprising hot spots on the body including the Million Dollar Mark as well as a variety of erotic touch techniques from the Liquid Trace to the Breath Kiss. We also answer a listener question about whether or not to invite an ex to your wedding.

 

Episode 211 – Sexual Communication & Sex Research with Dr. Shemeka

Dr. Shemeka Thorpe is a brilliant sex researcher, post-doctoral fellow and the founder of the Minority Sex Report. She joins us to talk about her latest research and we answer some of your burning questions including:

I can’t get into receiving oral sex. Is something wrong with me?
What’s the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?
How do I get over my partner’s past?
How can we improve sexual communication?
How do we manage pain during sex?
How do I advocate for myself with health professionals?

 

Episode 210 – Erections, Orgasms & More! Advice from a Pelvic Floor Specialist

Got sexual and pelvic health questions? We’ve got answers! Dr. Rachel Gelman, Doctor of Physical Therapy and pelvic floor specialist returns to answer your questions related to sex, pleasure and pelvic floor functioning including:

What is bumper sex?
Why is anal pleasure so much hotter after my second child?
What causes painful erections and how do you treat them?
How do you promote stronger erections — for penises & clitorises?
How does sitting at your desk all day affect sexual functioning?
Why does oral feel so good after childbirth?
What can I do about leaking when I laugh?
How do bowel movements affect pelvic floor function and sexual response?
How can changing the way you breathe promote pelvic floor function?
How can you do a self examination at home?

 

Episode 209 – Eroticize Daily Interactions: 20 Actionable Tips For Busy Couples

How do you keep things exciting in the midst of a repetitive routine? How can adults be more playful (because playfulness is associated with happier relationships & hotter sex)? What simple changes can you implement to make your daily interactions more fun, passionate and erotic — even if you’re super busy? We’ve share 20 actionable tips to make your relationship more romantic, intimate and erotic.

 

Episode 208 – Sex After Childbirth: Techniques & Strategies From a Perinatal Therapist

What are the causes of pain postpartum? How can you soothe your own pain and what exercises and massage techniques can help? What does self massage entail — both directly and indirectly? And how do you assess readiness for sex postpartum? How does a Caesarian birth affect sexual functioning?Perinatal Therapist, Janette Yee, joins us to answer these questions and more.

 

Episode 207 – How To Forgive Yourself After You’ve Cheated

A listener shares their story and feelings after having had cheated on their long-term partner. They ask for help managing the guilt and shame and Jess & Brandon weigh in on the topic with a discussion of:

Whether or not to tell your partner about an affair
Why you should talk about cheating in all relationships
How to talk about affairs in the hypothetical to improve understanding in relationships
How the language of confession can feel burdensome
How to manage feelings of guilt
How to forgive yourself
How to work through feelings of shame
How to practice self-compassion
How to learn from previous regrets

 

Episode 206 – Fetishes as Healing & How to Build Attraction

Adam Maurer joins us to crush on Brandon, sass Jess (with love) and answer your sex questions including:

How do I pick between partners — a safe partner versus one with whom the sex is hotter?
How do I deal with the fact that I love my boyfriend, but I’m no longer find him physically appealing?
How can fetishes reduce stress and cultivate connection?
What can we do to maintain attraction over time?
What can we do to make the relationship run more smoothly?
How can individual’s growth potentially threaten a relationship?
How do trauma responses affect partner and relationship decisions?
How do I deal with a dental visit knowing that I have a dental fetish?

 

Episode 205 – Fetishes, Butt Play & Does Size Matter?

The brilliant Luna Matatas joins us to answer your sex and pleasure questions including:

How do you stimulate the prostate?
What are the best anal toys for beginners?
What are lactation fetishes?
Does size matter?
How do I get over body image issues before I go to a play party?
How can I bring up fetishes to a partner?
How can we normalize anal play and pegging?
How can I pleasure my partner externally?

 

Episode 204 – How to Break Up With a Friend

Dr. Shari Nicole, Psychologist and Key Consultant of Everyday Psychology, joins us to talk about the importance and challenge of adult friendships. We discuss cutoff culture, attachments styles, boosting confidence and more including answers to these common questions:

How many friends do most people have?
How do childhood experiences affect adult friendships?
How do you know if a friendship is worth saving?
How do you know that it’s time to break up with a friend?
How do you go about breaking up with a friend?
How do friendships affect intimate relationships?
How do friendships differ according to gender?
How can you be more confident in your friendships?

 

Episode 203 – What You Don’t Know About HIV

Thanks to medical research and breakthroughs, we now have the tools to end the HIV epidemic. Unfortunately, we’re still a long way off on account of stigma, misinformation and a lack of awareness with regard to prevention options. So it’s essential that we talk about it.

Brad McElya, joins us to take a deeper dive into the topic of HIV and answers your questions including:

How have approaches to HIV shifted since the 80s?
Is HIV transmission possible if you have an undetectable viral load?
What is PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) and how does it work to prevent transmission?
Who should consider PrEP?
Why is HIV still an epidemic when we have the tools to eradicate it?
How do we chip away at the stigma that hinders testing, prevention and treatment?
How can we normalize conversations about HIV and how can your local pharmacist help?

 

Episode 202 – Trauma Responses in Sex & Relationships

How are trauma and liberation linked?
How does trauma show up in the body? And how can you begin to heal?
How does trauma play out in sex and relationships?
How can you support a partner who has experienced sexual trauma?
How do you talk to a new partner if you’re a survivor of sexual assault?
How can therapists improve the way they support clients and what can clients ask of therapists to improve their experience in therapy?

Therapist Rafaella Smith-Fiallo of Healing Exchange & Afrosexology joins us to share her perspective, expertise and advice. She explores pleasure politics, liberation psychology, social justice, and embodiment as approaches and tools for healing.

 

Episode 201 –  Reproductive Justice: Power, Positions & Pleasure

The unapologetic sexologist, Michelle Hope, joins us to chat about HIV stigma, forced sterilization, COMMUNITYx, reproductive justice and more. We also address listener questions about anal sex, positions for a tilted cervix and loss of libido.

 

Episode 200 – The Apology Languages, Sexual Initiation Techniques & Communication Tips

This week Jess and Brandon discuss a new project with Walgreens related to PrEP, medication that reduces the sexual transmission of HIV by over 99%. They discuss Jess’ early work in sex education and answer listener questions including:

How can I initiate sex with confidence?
How do you flirt?
What are the “apology languages”?
How do you keep your cool during conflict?
How can I get my partner to be more dominant in bed?

 

Episode 199 – Polyamory, Toxic Monogamy, & Ethical Non-Monogamy: What Therapists & Practitioners Need to Know

Kevin Patterson & Dr. Liz Powell join us to talk about their new course, Uneff Your Polyamory Pro — for both individuals, couples, groups and professionals. They discuss shame, stigma, stereotypes, metamours, toxic monogamy, hierarchies, comparison and lessons that we can all learn from — regardless of whether we consider ourselves monogamous, ethically non-monogamous or otherwise inclined.

 

Episode 198 – Dating with Herpes: Disclosure, Stigma & Healing

Courtney Brame founded Something Positive for Positive People after his own herpes diagnosis and through his non-profit and podcast, he shares real stories and resources for people with positive STI diagnoses. He joins us to discuss shame, stigma, dating, suicide prevention and more including:

How he felt when he was first diagnosed
How he navigated the dating world post-diagnosis
How people respond when he shares his positive status
How to disclose to a new partner
How herpes serves as a compass for the body and self-care
The costs of herpes jokes
How we can reduce the shame and stigma
How to build a support system after a diagnosis

 

Episode 197 – Somatic Therapy, Sexual Healing & FGM/C

Psychotherapist, Farzana Doctor, joins us to discuss her latest novel, Seven. She shares her own story as a survivor and an activist and discusses the role the body can play in healing. She also sheds light on the practice of female genital mutilation and cutting, which occurs in all corners of the globe, including North America. We discuss somatic therapy, labiaplasty, and the perils of white saviorism as well as her journey of healing post trauma.

 

Episode 196 – Yoga Nidra, Rest & Sleep Habits: How They Affect Sex & Relationships

This week we explore the research that connects sleep and rest with sex and relationships. Dionne Roberts joins us as we discuss:

How your sleep affects your connection and conflict
How Yoga Nidra can be used to address sleep deprivation and improve relationships
Sound baths
How to reduce stress in the name of overall health and happier relationships
How to let go of the mindsets that cause stress and hinder relaxation

 

Episode 195 – Overcome Shame & Oppression in the Name of Self-Love & Pleasure

How does a survival mindset affect sexuality? How does history and oppression shape sexuality for Black women? How do you learn to love your body and give yourself permission to embrace pleasure? How do you really fall in love with yourself? How does code switching affect sex and relationships? How do we unlearn embedded messages that hold us back in life and in love?

Community Psychologist and Sexologist, Author and Professor Dr. Hareder McDowell joins us to share her experience and insights.

 

Episode 194 – G-Spots, G-Zones & Squirting

This is your ultimate guide to the G-Spot, G-Zone, ejaculation, squirting and more! We answer all of your questions including:

Can everyone have a squirter orgasm
How do you learn to squirt?
What is the G-Spot and what is the G-Zone?
Is there a difference between squirting and ejaculation?
What is a squirter orgasm?
Can you ejaculate without having an orgasm?
How can you stimulate the G-Zone?
What are the best toys for G-Zone stimulation?
What toys can help you to squirt?
Does the volume of ejaculate relate to the intensity of the orgasm?

 

Episode 193 – The Best Gift Ever! It’s Free & Last-Minute Friendly

There is almost nothing better than sharing how you feel about your partner, and this “dating profile” gift is a simple, but powerful gift that keeps on giving. This week, Jess’ cousins Annabella & Denise join us to share this homemade, no-cost, gift: A dating profile written for a loved one. Jess also shares one she wrote for her Mom, and Brandon and Jess share one another’s.

 

Episode 192 – Former Playboy Advisor Weighs in on Full-Body Pleasure

After 46 years of writing about sexuality and the more than 12,000 sex questions answered, Michael Castleman is well positioned to weigh in on all things sex. He joins us to discuss his experience as the world’s most popular sex writer and together we address a buffet of questions including:

What is sex like in your 70s?
Why is full body pleasure so important?
What were Brandon’s early sexual experiences?
How can we master ejaculatory control and deal with premature ejaculation?
What really makes a penis better in bed?
What myths are destroying sex for men?
What are the most common questions men (Playboy readers) had in the 90s?
How do you spread arousal from head to toe?
How do you replace genital focus with playfulness?
What is sensate focus?
How to get over penis preoccupation?
Is sex addiction an industry or a diagnosis?

 

Episode 191 –  Food Fights, Orgasms & Mindful Masturbation

In this episode, we chat about our own issues with food as a couple — fights from our past, lessons we’ve learned, and the ways in which individual and cultural differences influence our expectations. We also answer some listener questions including:

How do I get over feelings of worthlessness related to my partner not having an orgasm?
How do I get more comfortable with masturbation?
How can I learn to orgasm without a toy?
Is it normal to not enjoy clitoral stimulation?
What is mindful masturbation?

 

Episode 190 – Technoference: How to Talk About Tech & Ditch Bad Habits

Do you talk about the role technology plays in your relationships — for better or worse? This week, we discuss some of the ways in which technology interferes with connection and explore an important conversation all couples (and singles!) can use to minimize technoference. We also discuss anxiety related to tech and the pandemic, share strategies to change the way we use technology, and answer a listener question about how to respond to a sticky situation with a new beau.

 

Episode 189 – Attachment Styles, Overcoming Anxiety & How to Feel More Secure

Psychologist Dr. Gina Di Giulio joins us to discuss Covid anxiety, CBT, and the ways in which attachment styles affect our relationships. She walks us through the three dimensions of attachment theory as well as the four main styles of attachment. Jess and Brandon open up about their own irritability and frustrations and they discuss cognitive strategies to increase feelings of security. And on a totally separate note, Jess also weighs in on a listener question regarding how to ride like a pro!

 

Episode 188 – Bisexuality, Religious Shame & Might-As-Well Relationships

Sexologist Ashely Cobb joins us to talk about her new program Hoe and Tell as well as to answer a ton of sex & relationship questions including:

What is pegging?
What sexual secrets are your friends and neighbours harbouring?
How do I get my shy partner to make noise in bed?
How do I introduce something new?
Does everyone need lube?
Can you get good sex ed on Tik Tok?
How do you let go of sexual shame that is tied to religion?
What are might-as-well relationships and what can we do about them?
How to ditch pressures related to family and cultural expectations.
Should a couple really operate as a unit?
What questions should you ask before you get into a committed relationship?
Is it okay to not like blow jobs?

 

Episode 187 – Sex Clubs, Open Relationships & Setting Boundaries with Taylor Nolan

We talk labia, penis size, public relationships, consensual non-monogamy and more with Taylor Nolan. Taylor is a psychotherapist who appeared on ABC’s The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. She hosts her own podcast and is recognized on social media for being outspoken and vulnerable on issues around  intersectional feminism, animal rescue, and mental and sexual health.

 

Episode 186 – All About Your Penis: Pleasure, Curves, Diet, Erection & More!

How’s your penis doing? How’s your diet and how does it relate to the pleasure you experience? And how can you have better anal sex? Sexual Medicine fellow & LGBTQ advocate, Dr. Josh Gonzalez, MD, joins us to discuss arousal, orgasm, ejaculation, erection, pain and more. He shares his expertise and answers your questions including:

What’s the best diet for your penis?
How can you deal with painful ejaculation?
What is a muted orgasm?
How can you deal with delayed ejaculation?
What are excitatory neurotransmitters?
What is soft glans and what are your treatment options?
What is Peyronie’s and how can it be treated?
How do some antidepressants inhibit and help and harm sexual pleasure including orgasm and desire?

 

Episode 185: Lingerie Humiliation, Sex Sans Erection & Sexual Worthiness

• • How to deal with feelings of rejection.
  • What’s the real difference between truth and honesty.
  • What to do when you or your lover lose their erection.
  • Managing feelings related to weight gain and why more weight can mean more pleasure!
  • How to get over fears of initiating sex.
  • How to feel worthy of love, sex and pleasure without the pressure to “do more” in bed.

 

Episode 184 – Astrology of Sex & Relationships

Author and Astrologist Mecca Woods joins Jess and Brandon to weigh-in on whether or not you should consider your Zodiac sign in dating, and shares her insights on:

The relational and sexual strengths of each Zodiac sign
How air, earth, water and fire signs differ from one another
How we can benefit from embracing elements from all Astrological signs
The areas you may want to work on according to your Zodiac sign
How Astrology can support self-development
Astrology as a motivational tool as opposed to a destiny-focused blueprint

 

Episode 183 – Pleasure Mapping, Clitoral Response & Redefining Healthcare

Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator. She joins Jess & Brandon to discuss all things sex, pleasure, wellness and bourbon!

How can pleasure mapping improve sexual communication and pleasure?
How do you deal with a hypersensitive clitoris?
How do you assess pelvic pain and endometriosis?
How can therapists and other helping professionals take care of their own physical and mental health?
What is vaginal stretching?
How can we assess racism and oppression in healthcare?
What are Bourbon Talez and what can you learn from them?

 

Episode 182 – Vaginismus, Delayed Ejaculation, Penis Health & Posture: Change Your (Sex) Life Via Your Pelvic Floor

We’re joined by pelvic health physiotherapist, Michiko Caringal, who answers all of our questions about how the pelvic floor affects sexual health including:

Why might ejaculation be painful?
How do you address delayed ejaculation?
Why do penises require pelvic floor therapy?
Can my vagina fall out?
Why is pelvic floor therapy important for cis and trans folks alike?
What does a pelvic floor consultation look like?
Who might benefit from a rectal exam?
How can we improve patient experience to ensure more active vs. passive care?
How do you clean your vulva and vagina?
What does it mean to “release the tailbone”?
How is back pain related to pelvic health and how can posture affect pelvic floor health?

 

Episode 181 – Intensify Pleasure & Orgasms

OBGYN Dr. Nicole E. Williams joins us to answer listener questions, discuss sexual wellness and weigh in on how to:

• • • Have sex on your period (if you want to)
    • Manage heavy bleeding due to fibroids
    • Get in the mood post-hysterectomy
    • Find your clitoral legs!
    • Deal with burning post-orgasm
    • Consider options other than a hysterectomy
    • Explore more frequent and intense orgasms with Cliovana & other approaches

 

Episode 180 –  “I Love You, Man.” Tantra, Emotional Expression & Opening Up

Emeka Menakaya joins Jess & Brandon to talk about how his studies in tantra have opened him up to improved relationships all around. He shares his insights on how cis men can be more vulnerable and open with one another and discusses his spiritual, emotional and sexual journey.

 

Episode 179 – Starting Over After A Breakup

Amira de Vera joins Jess on the podcast this week to share her experience after a breakup with a long term partner at the age of 34. They discuss how she went from lying on the floor crying to feeling happier than ever. Amira opens up to discuss:

• • • Overcoming the fear of starting over in your 30s
    • How to identify what you really want in a partner and relationship
    • Multiple approaches to getting over a tough breakup
    • The importance of sitting in the pain and using pain to heal
    • How to shift from focusing on others to focusing on yourself
    • Getting over the idea that you must hit specific milestones by a specific age
    • Breaking free of negative spirals
    • Amira’s path to self-love
    • The role of journaling, therapy, nature, friends, and creativity in healing
    • The fallacy of someone “completing” you

 

Episode 178 – Stripping, Strap-Ons, Porn & Digital Intimacy

Andre Shakti joins Jess and Brandon to share their journey and story as a stripper, sex worker, educator and activist. They discuss:

• • • What Andre loves about stripping and what drew her into the strip club in the first place
    • How to cultivate intimacy (in person and online)
    • Strap-on strategies for beginners
    • SANCTUARY, the virtual strip club
    • How strippers connect with their clients on a more personal level
    • How COVID and digital dates have changed connection for the better
    • Creating community for sex workers
    • Andre’s experience in the porn industry and prop 60
    • STI testing in the porn industry and what we can learn from
    • The Bella Thorne OnlyFan debacle

 

Episode 177 – Jeannie Mai On Forgiveness & Living Happily Ever After

Emmy-award winning, Jeannie Mai, host of The Real, joins us to talk about love, relationships, and moving on via forgiveness. She is newly-engaged (to Jeezy), full of energy, good vibes and insights on:

• • • What it’s like to live your life and share your love with millions of fans.
    • How to build a happily-ever-after relationship.
    • How to forgive family, friends and partner after heartache and trauma.
    • The importance of creating a shared vision as a couple.
    • Her personal formula for self-love.How her upbringing affects her relationships.
    • How to better manage arguments and deal with triggers.

 

Episode 176 – Sex Talk With My Mom: Cougars, Confidence & Grieving The Loss of a Spouse

Mother-son duo Karen Lee and Cam join Jess and Brandon to share their story of loss, love and podcasting. They chat about:

• • • Grieving the loss of Karen Lee’s husband and Cam’s dad
    • How to have more sex-positive conversations
    • How to date with confidence
    • Cam’s dating struggles and stories
    • How to be more vulnerable with your parents and children
    • Leaning into the awkwardness of dating and talking about sex
    • How Cam and Karen Lee came together and started this podcast
    • How they dealt with the death of Cam’s father together
    • How they get over the discomfort and were able to be vulnerable with one another
    • How Cam as a young man brought more sensitivity to dating and sex
    • Karen Lee’s advice as a single woman, getting past the grief from her late husband

 

Episode 175 – Top Tips for Oral Sex, Riding & Sliding Into DMs With Grace

Samia Burton, founder of Sexual Essentials, joins us to share her unique experience and insights as an unconventional sex educator. We discuss:

• • • Deep throat yoga-yawning
    • Oral sex techniques
    • Building up stamina
    • How to body-roll like a pro
    • Hands-on sex ed for adults
    • Using fruit snacks to spice things up
    • The dos and don’ts of DMing strangers: language, approach, tone and your elevator pitch
    • Jump rope, donkey kicks & other exercises for better sex

 

Episode 174 – WAP: Wet AP & How To Be Your Best Sexual Self

Sexologist Shamyra is back and she’s here to share her knowledge and thoughts on Cardi B’s WAP and so much more including:

• • • Mysogynoir
    • Pick Me culture
    • What “Big D” really means
    • What we can learn from song lyrics
    • How music videos can motivate (or empower) us to be better & live better
    • Lube-shaming
    • Small penises
    • Sexual double standards
    • The orgasm gap
    • Sexuality & race
    • Sex work as real work!

 

Episode 173 – Brandon Answers Your Sex & Relationship Questions

We’ve compiled some of your questions for Brandon and he weighs in sharing his personal experiences in response to the following:

• • • You’ve opened up about some heavy feelings on the podcast and talked about the benefits of being more vulnerable. How can I get my boyfriend to open up and be more vulnerable?
    • My husband is often too tired for sex. When we have it, he’s full of energy, but I feel like he says no at least 50% of the time. Should I be worried?
    • Last week, you said you have no game and that you would never have gotten together with Jess if it had been up to you. I don’t want to let my moment pass me by, so how do I work on my game and my confidence. You’ve also talked about how your confidence has increased over time, so any tips would help.
    • My GF listens to your podcast and follows Dr. Jess. She wants to follow in her footsteps, but the idea of her talking about sex with strangers and travelling all around the world doesn’t feel great for me. I don’t want to hold her back. How do I get over it?
    • Can you explain why men want to have anal sex so badly? Like what’s the appeal?
    • You talked about a toy called the Pivot, but you didn’t describe what it feels like. Can you elaborate?
    • How curious are you about Jess’ past? I know you’ve been together a while, but lately I’m more curious about my wife’s past and specifically why she had one night stands. Should I be so curious or just get over it?

 

Episode 172 – Navigating Interracial Relationships: One Couple’s Experience

Jess is Chinese-Jamaican-Irish-Canadian. Brandon is Canadian of British descent. Race and culture have always been central topics in our relationship and this week, we’re sharing our perspective as a mixed-race couple. We don’t speak for anyone but ourselves, but we hope this conversation leads to more meaningful ones in your own relationships. We discuss:

• • • Jess’ mixed race experience and expectations as a model minority
    • The importance of creating safe spaces for your partner in mixed-race relationships
    • How to deal with family members’ blatant and subtle racism
    • 5 insights for white folks looking to support POC in relationships

 

Episode 171 – Dealing with Trauma, Learning to Love Your Body & Flirtation Techniques

This week, Jess teams up with April Lampert and Amy Baldwin from the Shameless Sex Podcast to tackle listener questions including:

1. How can I deal with sensitive genitals (e.g. labia)?
2. How can I make sex less threatening after sexual assault? How do I talk to a new partner about past trauma?
3. What should I do about labia hypertrophy and how do I get more comfortable with my body?
4. How do I get over body shame related to things my ex said to berate my body?
5. I hear so much about eye contact as a tool of flirtation and connection. How else can I flirt without using my eyes since I’m almost blind?
6. How do Canadians pronounce the word about? ????

 

Episode 170 – Painful Sex Is NOT In Your Head: Holistic Solutions From a Pelvic Pain Doc

Sexual pain is not in your head. Dr. Sonia Bahlani, founder of PelvicPainDoc.com and author of The Holistic Guide to Navigating Pelvic Pain joins us to answer so many questions including:

• • • How do I deal with painful orgasms? It feels like the head of my penis is being pushed through broken glass.
    • How do my bowel movements and constipation affect sexual functioning & orgasm?
    • How can an anti-inflammatory diet improve sex?
    • How can yoga improve sexual functioning and pelvic floor tone?
    • Why does sex hurt?
    • Why don’t I feel anything during sex?
    • Are there injections, creams or medicines that can help with pelvic pain?

 

Episode 169 – Testosterone, Muscle Memory & Lasting Longer in Bed

Urologist and sexual wellness expert Dr. Jed Kaminetsky joins us to talk about all things sex including:

• • • Multiple approaches to lasting longer in bed
    • The role or testosterone in sexual desire and functioning
    • Orgasm difficulties
    • Premature ejaculation
    • Delayed orgasm
    • The role of muscle memory and neuropathways in orgasm

 

Episode 168 – The 11 Sex Personality Types

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin helps Jess and Brandon to explore their sex personality types and how we can use them to better understand our own needs and our partners’.

 

Episode 167 – Cannabis, Endometriosis & Sex

Antuanette Gomez, CEO of Pleasure Peaks join Jess & Brandon to talk about sex and cannabis. Pleasure Peaks is a sexual health company that develops products for women to have an optimal and healthy sex and this week, we discuss:

• • • How cannabis can be used to assuage pain and symptoms related to Endometriosis, rape survivors, PCOCs, infertility, and menstrual pain
    • Topical uses of non-psychotropic cannabis products
    • Cannabis baths
    • CBD vs THC
    • Cannabis as a superfood
    • The role of our endocannabinoid system
    • How cannabis suppositories have been used to treat endometriosis
    • Pleasure Island retreats
    • Strain journaling
    • Advice for newbies
    • Her role as a young WOC in a now white-dominated field

 

Episode 166 – The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: An Exercise for Singles and Couples

Marla & Jess wrote a book, The Ultimate Guide to Foreplay & Seduction! They’re having a virtual launch party to celebrate: Wednesday, June 24th at 7pm EST. Register to attend for free!  In this podcast, the ladies share what you can expect at the launch. They also work their way through one of the Lovers’ Inquiries in the book.

 

Episode 165 – Empathy Is A Superpower: How to Cultivate Trust, Have More Fulfilling Relationships & Work Through Trauma

Marriage and family therapist Shadeen Francis joins us to talk about X-Men, therapy, vulnerability and emptying the jug. She helps us to explore the following questions:

• • • How can the “emptying the jug” approach lead to more fulfilling relationships?
    • How can we even begin to open up and let our guard down?
    • What language can we use if we’re new to opening up and letting others in?
    • How can empathy transform experiences?
    • How is self-esteem tied to vulnerability?
    • What does it mean to be vulnerable — the good and the bad?
    • How can distraction be useful when dealing with difficult experiences?
    • How can we improve communication around challenging topics?
    • How can we open up and be more open to being emotionally impacted?

 

Episode 164 – Modern Whore: One Sex Worker’s Story & Insights

Andrea Werhun, author of Modern Whore, joins Jess and Brandon to share her personal story as a sex worker, performer and author. She discusses her beautiful journey into sex work and how her work has shifted during physical distancing and isolation. They also discuss:

• • • What makes an escort enjoy the experience with a client
    • How sex workers and their clients build trust and connection in their relationships
    • Andrea’s Hire-A-Muse packages
    • The coming out process and Andrea’s story of sharing her truth with her Mom & Dad
    • How to be an ally to sex workers and how to be sex worker-positive
    • Jess’ experience with sex workers at her first SAR
    • Sex work as a healing profession
    • The benefits of sex work
    • Insights from sex work that can benefit all daters
    • Stripping vs. Escorting and the whorearchy
    • The importance of labour rights for sex workers

 

Episode 163 – Sex Ed The Musical & Sexual Golden Tickets

Wendy Miller, host of Sex Ed The Musical Podcast, joins us to discuss her experience as the former Head of Production with PlayboyTV. She shares stories from the Playboy set shoots as well as insights from the Under Covers series, which explored the real stories of women from all walks of life. They discuss PlayboyTV’s Swing, the toll TV representations can take on body image and their “Sexual Golden Tickets”.

 

Episode 162 – Your Diagnonsense: How to Break the Avoidance Cycle & Set Your Own Relationship Goals

Therapist Todd Baratz joins Jess to discuss the costs and potential benefits of avoidance behaviours. He shares his thoughts on:

• • • The ways in which avoidance can be functional
    • The stress and anxiety associated with sexual avoidance
    • How to manage conflict avoidance
    • The importance of conflict in relationships
    • Specific strategies to break the avoidance cycle

 

Episode 161 – How to Overcome Sexual Shame

Messages related to sexual shame are ingrained from a young age and they affect how we feel about our bodies, how we interact with sexual partners and how we experience sexual pleasure. This week, we discuss a range of approaches to relinquishing sexual shame. Consent educator, survivor-turned-thriver and founder of CONSENTParenting, Rosalia Rivera joins Jess and Brandon to share her story and insights.

 

Episode 160 – Pelvic Floor Health: Perineal Massage, Postpartum, Peeing & De-Stressing Your Vagina

Pelvic floor physiotherapist, Kate Roddy, joins Jess to answer questions and share advice for keeping your pelvic floor as healthy as possible. They discuss:

• • • How destress your vagina
    • How to protect your pelvic floor while lifting weights and working out
    • The forms of incontinence and how to manage them
    • Why you don’t have to settle for peeing when you laugh
    • How to do a proper kegel
    • How to differentiate between pain and discomfort
    • The Power of the Kegel Release Curve
    • How to find the back end of the clitoris
    • Safe vaginal & perineal massage (especially postpartum)
    • Symptoms of an unhealthy pelvic floor
    • The 4th trimester

 

Episode 159 – A Conversation for Lovers

Jess & Brandon try one of the “Lovers Inquiries” from her new book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay co-authored by Marla Renee Stewart. They discuss ways to eroticize daily interactions within the context of a busy lifestyle and work through the prompts in the “Why do I love you again?” activity.

 

Episode 158 – The Good Sex Diet

Let’s talk about food and sex and dismantle diet culture. Food and sex have so much in common and so many of us (Jess included) consider food an important component of our core love languages. Lisa Davis, author of Clean Eating, Dirty Sex: Sensual Superfoods and Aphrodisiac Practices for Ultimate Sexual Health and Connection, joins Jess and Brandon to discuss the ways in which the foods we eat affect our sex lives. We discuss:

• • • What foods have been shown to benefit sexual health?
    • Why you may not want to “ditch” foods, but rather focus on new additions
    • How diet affects metabolism
    • How to rice cauliflower
    • How diet can affect erectile dys(function)
    • The power of flavonoids
    • The concept of “cheat days”

 

Episode 157 – Can Conflict Save Your Relationship?

Do you avoid or lean into conflict? Do you fight to win or fight to understand? Do you speak up when you’re unhappy? This week, CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke of Thrive! Inc. join Jess and Brandon to talk about the upside of conflict. They discuss:

• • • How to start difficult conversations
    • Three questions to ask yourself when you’re fighting (or about to engage in conflict)
    • How to cultivate better listening skills
    • Why you don’t always need to arrive at compromise or a resolution
    • The challenge of emotional differentiation
    • The connection between conflict and passion

 

Episode 156 – How to Get in the Mood for Sex

In this quickie episode, we chat about the fact that our interest in sex has declined since the onset of social isolation. We discuss strategies for creating “responsive” sexual desire and managing distractions that detract from pleasure.

 

Episode 155 – Top Tips for Digital Dating

Dating coach and matchmaker, Carmelia Ray joins Jess and Brandon to discuss:

• • • What holds most people back from finding a great match
    • How dating has changed since we’ve been instructed to shelter in place
    • Virtual speed dating
    • How to ease into digital dating whether you’re a new couple or living long-distance
    • How to manage the awkwardness of digital dates

 

Episode 154 – Do You Get a Say in Your Partner’s Porn Habits?

Since we’re trapped at home in isolation, we decided to record an extra episode this week. We talk about a fight we had yesterday and how stress levels are affecting the way we interact. We also spend some time discussing an unrelated user question: “Do I get a say in my partner’s porn use?”. We explore the difference between setting boundaries and dictating behaviour as well as specific communication prompts you can use to talk to your partner about porn. We also consider whether or not you should change your habits to meet your partner’s needs and concerns.

 

Episode 153 – How We Manage Our Relationship in Isolation

We’ve been isolating at home in Toronto for 19 days now and we thought we’d share how we’re doing as a couple — what’s working and what isn’t. We talk about some of the conflicting feelings we’re experiencing and brainstorm ways to make sure we’re still feeling connected over the longer term (since this could last a while). We talk about how we respond to unsettling emotions like anxiety and share some ideas for daters who can’t connect in person. Thanks for listening.

 

Episode 152 – Getting Naked With Tova Leigh: Monogamy, Motherhood & More

Tova Leigh joins Jess to share her journey as a mother, woman and author of Effed at 40. They discuss:

• • • How she got over her body image issues after birth
    • How to care less about what other people think
    • The reconciliation of motherhood and sexuality
    • The experience of stripping down at a nude spa
    • The power of nude photoshoots
    • Her new book: EfFed At 40

 

Episode 151 – Your Quaran-Team: How to Manage the Stress of COVID-19

Therapist and writer, Jake Ernst, joins Jess and Brandon to discuss:

• • • Strategies for assembling your support team (AKA quaran-team) during this stressful time
    • Apps that can help you to manage stress, transition and isolation
    • How to manage being cooped up with your family, partner or roommates
    • How to cope with difficult personalities and strained relationships in close proximity
    • Ways to bring yourself back to the present and support others in doing the same
    • How to recognize and manage signs of stress

 

Episode 150 – What We Can Learn from Equine Horse Therapy

How can equine therapy with horses help couples improve communication? How can horses support survivors of trauma? What is vaginismus and what are some approaches to managing painful sex? Dr. Maha Nasrallah-Babenko joins Jess to answer these questions and more.

 

Episode 149 – Core Erotic Feeling, Gang-Bangs & Spankings

Award winning sex educator, Tristan Taormino, joins Jess to talk about spanking, gang bangs, eye candy, social justice and mind-effing.

 

Episode 148 – Why We Love Dirty Underwear

On this week’s podcast, panty-peddler, Lacey Bloom, joins Jess to talk about her experience selling used underwear online. What makes it so exciting and how can used underwear help to destigmatize sexual taboos? They also chat about wild requests, bodily discharge, personal kinks and finding pleasure in the mundane.

 

Episode 147 – How to Help Someone in an Abusive Relationship

The toll of intimate partner violence struck close to home this week and with this weighing on her mind, Jess discusses nine strategies for supporting a loved one who is dealing with an abusive partner. This isn’t a private issue, it’s a public health crisis and we have to do more to protect those at risk.

 

Episode 146 – Orgasmic Meditation: A First-Hand Report

Sex writer, Suzannah Weiss, joins Jess to share her personal experience with orgasmic meditation. She discusses:

• • • An alternative view of orgasm
    • The very specific technique for “orgasmic meditation”
    • The story of her first time with a stranger
    • The high she gets from “extended orgasm”
    • Her favourite sex club
    • Advice for sex club newbies

 

Episode 145 – A Rant About Micro-Cheating

This is a six minute quickie! And it’s a bit of a rant about micro-cheating. From deep-liking to chatting with an ex, what behaviours are considered cheating? And how do you deal with a partner whose behaviour is making you uncomfortable? Have a quickie listen today!

 

Episode 144 – How to Manage Infidelity As A Couple

George’s wife cheated on him — twice. He still remembers the smell of the room they were in when she told him 13+ years ago. George joins us to share his story of how worked through the infidelity and continue to grow as a couple. He shares his struggles, lessons learned and the ways in which his community supported them through the process. Many years later, they’re together and thriving just as they did in the early years of their relationship.

 

Episode 143 – Kink, Energy Orgasms & Multi-Dimensional Body Scans

Evguenia joins Jess & Brandon to share her personal experience with kink play, polyamory, and energy orgasms. She shares a short erotic story (The Decadent Play Party) from her book, Alice in Polyland and walks Jess & Brandon through a multi-dimensional body scan.

 

Episode 142 – Amazing Anal & Prostate Play

Author & Sex Educator Carlyle Jansen joins us to discuss anal sex, prostate pleasure and sex toys. Carlyle shares her insights and tips regarding:

• • • How to stimulate the perineal sponge
    • The best toys for prostate pleasure
    • The importance of butt plugs for anal sphincter relaxation
    • Why you want to have Goldilocks poops
    • The water-bottle butt technique
    • The clock technique for the prostate
    • The importance of your knuckles when it comes to your butt
    • The relationship between “rest & digest” and pleasure

 

Episode 141 – Specific Strategies for Talking to Teens About Sex, Sexting & More

Author and sex education expert, Dr. Karen Rayne is a wealth of information and has developed specific and actionable strategies to help you talk to your kids and teens about sex and other difficult topics. In this episode, Karen and Jess discuss:

• • • How to talk to teens about breakups, sex, sexting, risk-taking
    • The “one question” rule to revolutionize conversations about sex
    • Specific “rules” for talking to teens
    • 10 steps to break the “hush factor” when it comes to sex
    • The benefits of considering yourself a “contractor” when it comes to your teen
    • How to ensure that your child/teen feel supported and come to you during times of need, distress and crisis
    • Sexting – essential rules, approaches and considerations
    • How to stay cool when your teen is riling you up
    • Considerations related to how much space and autonomy to give your teen

 

Episode 140 – Sexual Values Questionnaire Part II

Jess & Brandon complete the Sexual Values Questionnaire and continue learning about themselves and one another. They discuss how they feel about the physical, practical, emotional and spiritual components of sex. They also discuss sexual frequency and some of the challenges they personally face.

 

Episode 139 – How to Better Understand Your Sexual Values (And Your Partner’s)

Happy holidays! In this episode, Jess and Brandon use the Sexual Values Questionnaire to explore their own sexual values. Brandon shares his experiences learning about sex and gender through sport, family and (Catholic) school and Jess shares her memories of what she learned about sex growing up. They don’t complete the full exercise, so it will be continued in next week’s episode.

 

Episode 138 – The Most Common Couple Fights & How to Manage Conflict This Holiday Season

What are the most common issues couples fight about? How can you argue less and effectively manage conflict? How do you find middle ground when it comes to tough topics like money, sex and time? How can you support your partner over the holidays when they’re faced with family and sibling conflict? Jess and Brandon share their stories and sex therapist and psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle weighs in with her expertise.

 

Episode 137 – Full-Body Orgasms & How to Be Grounded in Your Body

M’kali-Hashiki has a complex sexual history including personal experience with polyamory, non-monogamy, BDSM, and achieving mystical states during sex. She considers herself a “sexual outlaw”, as well as being a “triple minority” (Black, female, and queer); accordingly, she views society’s standards on sexuality with a critical eye.

 

Episode 136 – Fat Sex, Topping & Bottoming and How to Feel Dominant in Bed

Nikki DaVaughn joins Jess to share insights on Domination, dirty talk, fat sex and body confidence. We cover:

• • • Scripts you can use if you want to try being more dominant with your lover.
    • The difference between being a Dominant and a top; the difference between being a sub and a bottom.
    • The language of fatness: plus-size vs curvy vs fat.
    • How her mother’s voice offset the potential effects of a fat phobic and objectifying culture.
    • Body positivity versus body neutrality.

 

Episode 135 – Learning to Love Yourself — Especially When Dealing With Loss, Grief & Shame

Dr. Ava Cadell shares her journey from growing up in an orphanage and surviving assault to working as a nude model and becoming one of the most well-known sexologists in the world. Ava shares a wealth of information from her personal and professional journeys including:

• • • Exercises to heal from loss and self-hate.
    • How to find your own voice after trauma.
    • Strategies for loving yourself after the loss of a loved one.
    • Neuro-based exercises to break familiar patterns.
    • Strategies for improving body image and rewriting scripts about love, sex and intimacy.
    • The role of art therapy, empathy and meditation in healing.

Free resources for those dealing with grief, loss and shame.

 

Episode 134 – Holiday Kink, Rewiring the Brain, ABDL & Setting Boundaries

Licensed therapist Carlos Cavazos is a firecracker and an incredible source of insights and easy-to-use advice for more fulfilling relationships and hotter sex. In this episode we discuss:

• • • How to take care of yourself first when you are accustomed to caring for others (personally and/or professionally)
    • The difference between independence, inter-dependence, and co-dependence

How to set healthy boundaries this holiday season, and more!

 

Episode 133 – How the “Passion Interview” Can Improve Your Relationship

The Passion Interview is a tool used for couples to spark passion, improve understanding, and deepen intimacy. It’s designed to shift the conversation away from the mundane to the exploratory. Jess uses this exercise with couples in-session and in the 50 video online Master Class. In this week’s episode Jess and Brandon work through the questions together and discuss a range of topics: childhood memories, racial justice, privilege, the Obamas, retirement, routine, travel, regrets, physical affection and expressions of love.

 

Episode 132: In(Compatibility): When You Want an Open Relationship & Your Partner Doesn’t

How do you approach your partner about an open relationship? What do you do if one partner wants monogamy and the other wants consensual non-monogamy? How do you get your partner to talk about sex if they’re shy or uncomfortable? How do you deal with sexless marriages? Heather McPherson, M.A., LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST, joins us to discuss her experience working with couples and singles as a sex therapist and founder of the Sexual Health Alliance.

 

Episode 131 – Sex & Disability – A Personal Journey

How do we define disability inclusively? How does disability affect sex and relationships? And why should we consider incontinence a public health issue? Mari Ramsawakh joins Jess and Brandon to reflect upon their personal story — from being bullied as a child to navigating ableism and fetishism to having the most fulfilling sex life imaginable. Have a listen and learn from their insights!

 

Episode 130 – How Does ADHD Affect Sex & Relationships?

How does ADHD affect sex, communication and intimate relationships? How do you break break the “parent-child” dynamic in relationships so you can focus on being partners and lovers? Psychologist and sex therapist, Dr. Ari Tuckman joins us to share insights from his research and latest book, ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship. His practical advice applies to all relationships, regardless of whether or not you have ADHD, so be sure to tune in!

 

Episode 129 – Expand Pleasure, Navigate Trauma, Manage Anxiety & Have More Fulfilling Relationships

Interdisciplinary sex therapist, Jamila M. Dawson, joins Jess and Brandon in to discuss how sexual pleasure can be part of healing from trauma, the elements of happy relationships, how to be emotionally present, strategies for responding to anxiety and rejection, power dynamics in therapy and much more.

Jamila sees suffering not as a failure of your body or your mind but as responses to a culture that has damaging and unhealthy views on sex, religion, relationships, bodies, race, and gender. Her work is strongly rooted in somatic practices, self-discovery, social justice, and helping clients navigate not just their own relationships, but the cultures in which they live. Her success with clients is shaped by her pleasure-based, trauma informed framework and her concept of the 5 C’s (Curiosity, Creativity, Collaboration, Courage, Compassion).

Her goal is to break down sexual stigma and help people design mindful, vibrant relationships.

 

Episode 128 – Porn as Activism, Fetishes & Parenthood As a Porn Star

Porn performer and Master Fetish Trainer, King Noire, joins Jess and Brandon to share his story as a community activist, porn star, hip hop artist and father. He discusses fetishes, sexual oppression and repression, and his journey in the worlds kink, porn, music and parenthood. King started working in porn when he was 18 and then he took a break before returning to the field as a producer alongside his life partner, Jet Setting Jasmine; he shares insights as to how his role and expectations have changed over the years.

 

Episode 127 – Touchless Orgasms

Nikki Morgan shares insights to help you consider new ways to approach orgasm using your breath, movements, thoughts and more. She discusses ways to step outside your comfort zone and be more positive about your body.

 

Episode 126 – PechaKucha: Kink & BDSM with Honestly Nae

How do you practice safe, sane, consensual kink “in color”? What is fire-play? How do you navigate master-slave relationships? And how do you understand a submissive’s needs? Shanae Adams aka Honestly Nae, joins Jess and Brandon to share their insights as professional Dominatrix and kink educator.

 

Episode 125 – Jet Setting Jasmine: Mother, Porn Performer, Director & Licensed Therapist

Jet Setting Jasmine is a licensed clinical therapist, co-owner of Royal Fetish Films (an adult film production company), and an adult entertainer. She combines her love of the arts, film and sex education to produce erotica that stimulates and engages the audience to push their sexual boundaries. Jasmine joins Jess and Brandon to share thoughtful insights on her life as a therapist, mother, performer and entrepreneur. She talks about directing porn (including a recent threesome scene starring her life partner, King Noire), the value and appeal of ethical porn, how porn performers balance their own pleasure with the need to perform for the camera, and strategies for staying in the moment when faced with distractions.

 

Episode 124 – How to Deal With Insecurities, Neediness and Apologies

Sex therapist Shamyra Howard joins Jess to talk about how to have happier relationships — with yourself, family, friends and partner(s). She talks about how to apologize effectively and why your partner doesn’t want you to be sorry — they want you to be better.

 

Episode 123 – How to Have Happier Relationships: JODO, Boundaries, & 5 Questions to Keep You On Track

Austin-based sex therapist, Adam Maurer, joins Jess to share straightforward insights for happier relationships. They discuss JODO, setting boundaries, managing let-down, dealing with personality differences (e.g. introverts versus extroverts) and a simple weekly ritual to improve communication, understanding and intimacy.

 

Episode 122 – Overcome Sexual Fear, Open Up and Share Deeper Intimacy

Jess discusses emotional vulnerability, sexual shame, strategies for discussing sexual needs, why some people cheat and the Madonna/whore dichotomy with Toronto-based sex therapist, Kat Kova. Kat also helps Jess to open up about her greatest sexual fear.

 

Episode 121 – Technoference & Cheating

How can you reduce the negative effects of technology on your relationship? And how can you move on and rebuild after you’ve cheated on your partner? Jess and Brandon share their thoughts in response to listener questions.

 

Episode 120 – Sex & Intimacy After a Baby – Insights From a New Dad

Our old friend Mikey Singer joins us to talk about how to prioritize intimacy and sex after you’ve had a baby. Parenthood changes the household dynamic, but it can be for the better.

 

Episode 119 – Overcome Sexual Repression

How do know if you’re sexually repressed or if your partner is holding you back? What is sexual empowerment and how can you overcome repression to feel more empowered? Jess and Brandon discuss their experiences and share personal insights.

 

Episode 118 – Bringing Fantasy to Reality: Public Sex

Jess & Brandon address a listener who wants to “convince” his wife to fulfill his fantasy. They discuss the appeal of public sex and how you can build upon your fantasies in a safe way and incorporate your partner.

 

Episode 117 – Emotional Literacy & How to Handle Rejection

Karen B.K. Chan, joins Jess and Brandon on the podcast to discuss rejection. How can we manage rejection? And when we feel rejected, how can we embrace it? How do we develop resilience and emotional literacy and to navigate uncomfortable social situations. Listen now and learn more!

 

Episode 116 – Sex & Pleasure After Sexual Assault

Julie Peters, author of Want: 8 Steps to Recovering Desire, Passion, and Pleasur

e After Sexual Assault, shares her insights regarding recovery and the return to desire, sexuality, trust, and pleasure after assault. Her approach is grounded in gratitude, mindfulness and pleasure and is relevant to survivors of all genders as well as the general population.

 

Episode 115 – Dr. Donaghue on Toxic Monogamy, Body Neutrality & Erectile Disappointment

Loveline‘s host, Dr. Chris Donaghue joins Jess and Brandon to share insights from his latest book, Rebel Love: Break The Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits and Have the Best Sex of Your Life. They discuss porn addiction, solo-sexuality, body image, toxic masculinity, the drawbacks of monogamy and the habits we need to break to tap into authentic sexuality.

 

Episode 114 – What We Fight About & 3 Ways We Resolve Arguments

In this episode, we talk about a fight we had the other day and our top three strategies for resolving conflict in our marriage. We also discuss Airpod sex, Canadian open relationships & millennial marriage with reference to two recent studies.

 

Episode 113 – How to Prepare For Marriage, Get Over an Ex and Repair a “Broken Relationship”

Jess and Brandon weigh in on listener questions related to breakups, rough patches, managing jealousy in the age of social media and wedding planning anxieties.

 

Episode 112 – Dating, Confidence, & Sex Appeal – A Burlesque Dancer’s Perspective

Burlesque sensation, Pastel Supernova, joins Jess and Brandon to talk about her experiences with dating, love and relationships. She shares insights on building self confidence, loving your body, and overcoming nervousness and performance pressure.

 

Episode 111 – Foot Fetishes, Sex Smells, Dating Profiles & Creating Relationship “Distance”

Why do we develop fetishes and how can you talk to your partner about a fetish? How can you discuss spending time apart with a new partner after you’ve moved in together? Jess and Brandon discuss these topics and share their thoughts on sex smells, gift-giving and more. They’re also joined by Samantha Eitel who has an alternative take on dating profiles and “the best gift ever”.

 

Episode 110 – Emotional (Un)availability: How to Get Your Partner to Open Up

Jess and Brandon discuss what emotional unavailability might look like and they challenge the “fix-it” mentality. They share specific strategies for overcoming emotional unavailability including language and approaches to support your partner. They discuss the five languages of love, simple questions to make daily interactions more emotionally open, and emotional compatibility.

 

Episode 109 -Help! I Can’t Orgasm With My Partner

Jess and Brandon respond to a listener who can orgasm on her own, but not with her partner. They share tips, insights, personal stories as well as practical mindfulness strategies you can try tonight.

 

Episode 108 – Vagimisus: Painful Sex

What are the causes, symptoms and treatment options for Vaginismus? Jess shares resources and chats with her friend Meredith who shares her story of successfully overcoming Vaginismus.

 

Episode 107 – How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn

Jess and Brandon talk about celebrity relationships (again!). Then Nadine Thornhill joins them to share practical advice on how to talk to your kids about sex, porn and body image.

 

Episode 106 – Why We All Seek Attention & Feel Insecure: The Ayesha & Steph Curry Case

Do you have a partner who craves attention? Do you love getting attention? How do you feel when your partner gets attention from outside sources? Jess and Brandon discuss the Ayesha and Steph Curry case and share their experience with managing insecurity, neediness, attention-seeking and more.

 

Episode 105 – Ambiamory, Polyamory, Open Relationships

Are you monogamous? Consensually non-monogamous? Ambiamorous? Polyamorous? Have you explored all of your options? And what can you learn from relationship types that are different than your own? Kevin Patterson joins Jess & Brandon to talk about his open marriage of 12 years and counting. He shares some of his mistakes and lessons as well as insightful advice on jealousy for people in monogamous relationships.

 

Episode 104 – Here’s How Diet, Sleep, Superfoods and Lifestyle Choices Affect Your Libido

Naturopathic doctor, Dr. Olivia Rose, shares insights on how diet, supplements, herbs, acupuncture and sleep affect your sex drive and overall health. She reveals what foods you should eat in the morning, what substances you should avoid at night, and how hormones play a role in libido.

 

Episode 103 – Defensive Partners, Toxic Relationships, Shrinkage and Porn Habits

How do you deal with a defensive partner? How do you manage a partner who lashes out in arguments? Is shrinkage real? What are some signs of a toxic relationship? Do I get a say in my partner’s porn habits? Jess and Brandon answer your questions in another rapid fire round.

 

Episode 102 – Body Language in Dating & Mating

How should you adjust your body language during an argument with your partner? What strategies can we use to become active listeners? What role does body language play with single daters? Tune in now to learn from Body Language Expert, Karen Donaldson as she shares her advice and insights with Jess and Brandon.

 

Episode 101 – Sex Q&A: Anal, Hot-Wifing, Sexless Marriages & Much More

Jess and Brandon answer your questions: Is it normal to want your wife to be a hot-wife? Should I use an enema before anal? What should I do if I can’t get it in? Can a sexless marriage work? Can a couple really recover after cheating? How do I know if I should call it quits on a relationship? And many, many more.

 

 

Episode 100 – 38 Sex Questions Answered

It’s our 100th episode! We’re answering rapid-fire questions on everything from jealousy, uneven breasts, and birth control to penis flavours, positions and sex toys. Tune in and keep the questions coming.

 

Episode 99 – Sex Dolls, Semen, Squirting and Nervousness

Jess and Brandon answer listener questions about swallowing, squirting, nervousness, physical affection and sex dolls.

 

Episode 98 – Dating Advice With Dr. Donna

How much should appearance matter in dating? How do you overcome fears of rejection and develop high self-worth? How do we address racism, colorism and discrimination in dating? Dr. Donna and Jess share their experiences and perspectives to help you feel better in your own skin and address your own biases.

 

Episode 97 – Blow Jobs, Crushes, Sex Education & Cheating Clauses

How important is oral sex? Is it okay to have a crush on a co-worker if I’m married? Are ‘cheating clauses’ healthy for relationships? How do I get over a crush? Why does sex education matter? Jess and Brandon chat sex, love and relationships addressing these questions and many more.

 

Episode 96 – What is Sex-Positive Parenting?

How do you talk to your kids about porn? How do you teach consent from a young age? How do you have awkward conversations about sex? What does it mean to be a sex-positive parent? Melissa Pintor Carnagey joins Jess and Brandon to share her advice and insights on these topics and more.

 

Episode 95 – Sex & Dating With Herpes

Courtney Brame joins Jess and Brandon to talk about sex, relationships and dating after an STI diagnosis. He shares insights on how to disclose, provides advice on sexual communication and talks about stigma, suicide and self-worth.

 

Episode 94 – Dating Dilemma

What should you do if your partner says one thing, but does another? How do you talk about the fact that they’re avoiding sex? How do you address social media behaviour that makes you uncomfortable? Jess and Brandon talk to Canadian dater, Katrina, about her dating dilemmas.

 

Episode 93 – Celebrity Relationship Advice – Good, Bad & Ugly

Steve Harvey says you should act like a lady & think like a man. Taylor Swift suggests playing games. Jada Pinkett-Smith says she’s nobody’s watcher. Adam Levine claims you should always let a woman believe she is right. Dr. Nikki Coleman joins Jess and Brandon to dissect celebrity relationship advice and address how we can use their insights to improve our own relationships.

 

Episode 92 – Getting Naked For Love!

Do you love your body? Loving your body is a radical statement in a culture and economy that feeds on body insecurity. Jess and Brandon want you to love your body, so they’re sharing stories, insights and tips on how getting naked can improve your relationship and revolutionize your life.

 

Episode 91 – How To Use Gratitude To Improve Relationships

Jess and Brandon discuss how they’re feeling in light of their dog’s cancer diagnosis and talk about the role gratitude plays in their lives and relationships. They share five specific strategies for being more grateful in life and marriage.

 

Episode 90 – Listener Questions on Hygiene, Sexual Compatibility & How to Be the *Best* He’s Ever Had

How can I ensure I’m the BEST he’s ever had? How do we know if we’re sexually compatible? How do I bring up hygiene before oral sex? How can I make sure our sex life is “fair”? Jess and Brandon tackle these listener questions in the first episode of 2019.

 

Episode 89 – The Best Gift Ever (For Your Lover)

Jess and Brandon talk about love languages, the holidays and their reaction to “You May Want To Marry My Husband”. They also share the dating profiles they wrote for one another and why they love this activity. This is an exercise you can try with your partner and it makes the ultimate holiday gift — it’s free and it keeps on giving!

 

Episode 88 – Holiday Harmony Tips

Jess and Brandon answer listener questions about how to have a happier relationship this holiday season.

 

Episode 87 – Touch-Workshops, Couples “Cruising” and an Alternative View of Swinging

They sold everything and moved to Mexico. They’ve touched over 6000 people. And they’ve been swingers from the start. Lauren and Richard, from the Room 77 Podcast, chat with Jess and Brandon about their relationship, unique lifestyle and their sexual experiences.

 

Episode 86 – Q & A with the Relationship Nurse

LaDonna Wright, creator of the adult game, Secret VII, joins Jess to address relationships and sexual health questions.

 

Episode 85 – Adult Film Star Kendra Lust on Confidence & Modern Relationships

Former Registered Nurse and Award-Winning Adult Film Star Kendra Lust shares insights and lessons on sexual confidence, working in porn, and how to have a lasting, happy marriage.

 

Episode 84 – Sex & Cannabis

Are you curious about sex and cannabis? Do you understand between the difference between THC and CBD? And did you know that you can experience cannabis pleasure without getting “high”? Cannasexual, Ashley Manta, joins us and teaches us that we have a lot to learn.

 

Episode 83 – A Glimpse Into Brandon & Jess’ Relationship – Part II

Jess and Brandon continue the “partner interview” and share details about their greatest fears, fondest memories, where they hope to be in ten years and what they’re working on in terms of self-development.

 

Episode 82 – A Glimpse Into Brandon & Jess’ Relationship – Part I

Jess and Brandon interview one another in an attempt to better understand their own relationship. They talk about their initial attraction and what they want to work on in their relationship. This is part one of the “Lover’s Interview”.

 

Episode 81 – All About Polyamory

Is polyamory on the rise? Are throuples the new norm? And what’s the difference between polyfidelity, non-hierarchical polyamory, and relationship anarchy? Jenny Yuen, author of Polyamorous, joins Jess to share her personal experiences and professional insights on consensual non-monogamy.

 

Episode 80 – Face-Sitting 101

Dee H. Black & Ladyee Vee join Jess in Atlanta to talk about their interactive Face-Sitting workshops. They share tips and techniques for this powerful sex act as well as insights into why it is gaining popularity.

 

Episode 79 – Secrets of a Phone Sex Operator

Sex educator Domina Franco, a former semi-pro wrestler and phone sex operator, joins Jess and Brandon at The Sex Expo in Brooklyn. They discuss phone sex, Dominance, submission, dirty talk and how to make sex more exciting and authentic.

 

Episode 78 – Killing Kittens Sex Party

Are you curious about sex parties? What can you expect from a woman-focused sex party experience? Do you have to get naked and/or have sex? And what’s up with the name, Killing Kittens, anyway? Founder Emma Sayle, joins Jess and Brandon to share her story right before they attend their very first Killing Kittens party in New York.

 

Episode 77 – Getting Kinky With Bex

What is kinky sex? What goes down at kink camp? And how can you kink up your sex life? Bex Caputo joins Jess and Brandon to share his experience, insight, and expertise. Bex has been a proud and undeniable kinkster ever since he insisted on being served his meals in a dog bowl at the age of 8, so he knows his stuff!

 

Episode 76 – A Bisexual Couple’s Story

What is the bisexual double-standard? How does erasure affect bisexuals? And how does bisexuality work in the Swing Lifestyle? Angelique and John join Jess to discuss their experiences as a bisexual couple.

 

Episode 75 – All About Tantra (Bringing Dr. Jess to Tears)

Amina Peterson joins Jess to discuss the practice and philosophy of tantra. What is tantric breathing and meditation? How can a body scan improve your sex life an overall well-being? It’s not all about sex, but sex is certainly enhanced by the practice. Amina closes the episode with a brief body scan that moves Jess to a state of deep vulnerability.

 

Episode 74 – Sexuality & Gender Terms Defined

Pansexual. Cisgender. Sapiosexual. Gender Queer. Gender Fluid. Agender. Aromantic. Demisexual. Gender Non-confirming. Transgender. Award-winning activist, Aida Manduley, joins Jess on the podcast to discuss terminology related to sex and gender. Which terms are appropriate and which are not? And how we can celebrate inclusion and learn from our own mistakes.

 

Episode 73 – What Can We Learn From Celebrity Relationships?

Are on-again-off-again relationships healthy? How can we break bad relationship habits? How do you recover after cheating? And how do you know if your work crush is crossing the line? Therapists Eboni Harris & Eliza Boquin join Jess to share their insights on these topics and more. They’ve got some great advice so make sure you tune in!

 

Episode 72 – All About Anal

If you’re curious about the butt and its potential for pleasure, tune in for lessons in anatomy, pleasure, technique and more!

 

Episode 71 – How to be Happy After 51 Years of Marriage

Uncle Mike (Captain Lyn – @lyn.mike) joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on marriage after 51+ years. Have a listen! With age comes wisdom and even if his experience is different than your own, you’ll find pearls of wisdom worth taking to heart.

 

Episode 70 – How to Talk About Sex, Webcams & More!

Jess & Brandon model a “how-to-talk-about-sex” conversation in response to a listener’s question — they share their unprepared responses on the spot. They also weigh in on spicing up date night, watching web-cam models, sex clubs, sleeping after sex & how long to wait before having sex with a new partner.

 

Episode 69 – Single Girl Problems

Single? Dating? Coupled? Whatever your relationship status, it’s time to take responsibility for your own happiness. Andrea Bain, host of the “Single Girl Problems” podcast joins Jess to share insights and advice for both couples and singles.

 

Episode 68 – Online Infidelity

Jess and Brandon share their insights on what constitutes online cheating and how to handle disagreements about chatting with exes and others online.

 

Episode 67 – Sex Q&A: How to Get Your Partner to Open Up, How to Manage Mismatched Libidos, Anal Sex & More!

Jess and Brandon team up to answer listener questions about anal sex, discrepancies in desire, how to get your partner to talk about fantasies and more. They share personal insights and open up about some of their sexual experiences (even if Brandon doesn’t seem to remember all of them!).

 

Episode 66 – Why We Misread Our Partners & What We Can Do About It

Dr. Liz Powell joins Jess and Brandon to discuss how “hot thoughts” sabotage relationships. They also discuss friendships, gender roles and share personal stories of relationship struggles.

 

Episode 65 – What Do Your Neighbours Fantasize About?

Are you curious about your friends, co-workers and neighbors’ fantasies? Of course you are! Dr. Justin Lehmiller was curious too, so he asked over 4000 Americans to share their deepest, darkest and most exciting fantasies. He discusses this fascinating research from his latest book, Tell Me What You Want, with Jess in this week’s episode.

 

Episode 64 – Stop Looking for a Soulmate!

Jess & Brandon talk about how the soulmate myth is bad for dating and relationships.

 

Episode 63 – Digisexuals, Teledildonics, Relationship Anarchy and More

Dr. Markie Twist (sex therapist) & Professor Neil McArthur (ethicist) join Jess to discuss various relationship arrangements including relationship anarchy, affectional-only relationships, and non-sexual parenting partners. Markie shares a few of her experiences and Neil weighs in on recent cases. And we almost forgot that Brandon joins them too simply because he was so fascinated by the topic!

 

Episode 62 – How to Convince My Partner To Swing

Dr. Jess and Dr. Nancy join forces to answer the question, “how do I convince my partner to swing?”. The short answer is that you don’t convince them to do anything, but you can introduce swinging (and other sexual activities) in a manner that will produce meaningful and sexy conversations. Jess & Nancy share actionable advice you can use today!

 

Episode 61 – Q & A: Affair Sex. Sexual Fantasies. Healing After Cheating.

Should I have sex with a married woman? How do I get my partner to open up about fantasies? Once a cheater, always a cheater? Jess (and Brandon) answer these listener questions and more!

 

Episode 60 – How to Talk Dirty Like A Pro

This week, Jess invites professional sex educator (and professional pervert), Carly S., to the podcast. The pair discuss why dirty talk is such an important form of communication in relationships and how effective it can be when used properly. Carly is a master of dirty talk and gives Jess specific lines and examples that you can use tonight!

 

Episode 59 – Sexual Dry Spells & Male Sex Myths

Jess and Brandon chat about their current sexual dry spell and male sex myths. Brandon opens up about some personal concerns and Jess comments on recent research on male sexual desire.

 

Episode 58 – “In-Between” Relationships & Why You Should Talk About Cheating

What can we learn from Tristan Thompson & Khloe Kardashian’s cheating challenges? Why do we stay with partners who cheat? And what conversations are ESSENTIAL to a happy, lasting relationship? Jess shares her answers, theories and strategies on cheating, monogamy and relationship communication.

 

Episode 57 – Clothing Optional Cruising!

Jess & Brandon are in Italy aboard the @DesireResorts Cruise – a clothing optional experience for open-minded couples. Tune in to learn more about this exciting erotic experience.

 

Episode 56 – Advice from a Dominatrix

Goddess Lola Jean joins Jess on the podcast this week. Lola shares her perspective on life as a pro and lifestyle dom, and fetish wrestler. She also gives insights on why domming can be therapeutic and how she uses it as a way to build self-confidence. Happy listening!

 

Episode 55 – How Professional Success Affects Relationships

Winning an Oscar triples your chances of getting divorced. And though you may not be in the running for an Academy Award, your personal and professional successes can adversely affect your relationship — but they don’t have to! Dr. Natasha Sharma joins Jess to discuss how you can ensure that your success serves to enhance — not threaten — your relationship.

 

Episode 54 – How to Seduce Your Lover

Do you want to seduce your lover with confidence and finesse? Marla Stewart can help. She joins Jess to talk about the “Seduction Learning Approach”. She uses real-life examples to help you understand your own desires and your partner’s. Jess and Marla also share specific suggestions to use your words, body, actions and more to seduce your lover with confidence — and to teach them to return the favour.

 

Episode 53 – Let’s Talk Threesomes!

Luna Matatas joins Jess to talk about threesomes. From how to snag a unicorn to how to navigate those awkward moments, we’ve got you covered.

 

Episode 52 – How A Pelvic Floor Therapist Can Change Your Life

Do you pee when you laugh? Is sex sometimes painful or uncomfortable? Is orgasm rather elusive? A pelvic floor therapist might be able to help with these concerns & more! Marcy Crouch, joins Jess on the podcast to chat about the science & application of pelvic floor therapy.

 

Episode 51 – How to Manage Insecurity in Relationships

Do you feel insecure with your partner at times? We all do. Brandon and Jess team up once again to share personal experiences and anecdotes about how they’ve encountered and tackled insecurity in their relationship. Jess also shares practical tips for dealing with your own insecurity and your partner’s.

 

Episode 50 – Jess & Brandon Answer Sex & Relationship Questions

How do you prioritize sex? How do I stop myself from started fights when I’m on my period? How can I get my partner to be more romantic? And would you leave if he cheated? Jess and Brandon (Jess’ way better half) answer listener questions and share their own stories of marriage — the good, the bad and the chocolate-chip-walnut-cookie!

 

Episode 49 – How to Feel More Confident in the Bedroom

The Princess of Porn, Tasha Reign, joins Jess this week to discuss sexual confidence and reflect on her experience as an adult actress. She shares her unique insights and both Jess and Tasha share their top tips for boosting your sexual self-esteem.

 

Episode 48 – Sex, Dating & Relationship Questions & Answers

How do you get over your partner’s sexual past? What is ‘Ski-Poling’? How can you ensure that your family likes your new partner? And what should I do with my hands during ‘the sex’? Jess tackles these questions and more in this week’s podcast.

 

Episode 47 – Sex & Depression

Jess is joined by licensed psychotherapist Miyume McKinley who answers listener questions about sex and depression. Tune in for insights on how to talk to your partner, show support and prioritize self-care when dealing with depression.

 

Episode 46 – Amateur Porn Star, Harper the Fox, Talks Camming, Porn & Real Sex

Jess is joined by the brilliant and funny amateur porn star, Harper The Fox. Harper is a digital entrepreneur whose unedited sex tapes feature her having real, loving sex with her partner of 7 years. In this week’s episode, she shares her unique insights into the worlds of camming, porn and poetry — and she explains how to use toilet paper rolls as sex dolls.

 

Episode 45 – Monogam-ish Questions Answered

What does it mean if I think about someone else during sex? Is fantasizing about a celebrity during sex a form of cheating? Who’s more likely to fantasize about someone other than their partner – women or men? Jess tackles these questions and more in this week’s podcast.

 

Episode 44 – Swinging Questions Answered

Jess answers your questions about gender roles and rules in the Swinging Lifestyle. She also shares a bit about her own personal experience and unpacks data about consensual non-monogamy. Whether you’re an experienced Swinger, curious about the lifestyle or just wondering what you can learn from consensually non-monogamous relationships, have a listen as Jess differentiates between cheating and CNM relationships.

 

Episode 43 – Get to Know Your Vagina

This week, OB/GYN and founder of Her Viewpoint, Dr. Jessica Shepherd, is back on the podcast to talk about sex, the vagina, orgasms and more! The pair take listener questions and address the ‘what-ifs’ about sex and the vagina.

 

Episode 42 – Answering YOUR Penis Questions

This week, Jess invites Dr. Laurence Levine on the podcast to discuss all things penis’! She opened the floor up to her social following and received many questions about the topic. For some great comprehensive medical advice, be sure to tune into this one!

 

Episode 41 – How Often Should You Have Sex?

Jess and her partner, Brandon, chat about sexual frequency and discuss where they’re at in their relationship today. Jess also shares data on how often the “average” couple has sex and strategies for discussing frequency with your partner.

 

Episode 40 – How to Treat Your Marriage Like A Business

In this episode, Jess sucks the romance out of relationships and offers a practical, business-based approach to happier relationships. It may seem unromantic to treat your relationship like a business, but it’s far more romantic to plan for success than to close your eyes and hope for the best. Most couples invest their time and money into their wedding — but not into the relationship itself and the results are abysmal. Don’t be most couples! Treat your relationship like a business.

 

Episode 39 – Cuckolding and Cuckqueening

Dr. Justin Lehmiller joins Jess to address listener questions about cuckolding and cuckqueening. Why might you be turned on by seeing your partner having sex with someone else? Is it cultural, personal and/or evolutionary? How can you talk to your partner about your fantasies? And should you consider playing out your fantasies in real life?

 

Episode 38 – Let’s Talk About Orgasms!

This week, Jess is joined by Sex Coach and Owner of Good for Her, Carlyle Jansen. The pair discuss the must-knows about orgasms and answer some listener Qs.

 

Episode 37 Sex for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Dr. Ruthie Neustifter joins Jess to answer listener questions about sex and relationships after a sexual assault.

 

Episode 36 – Jess Answers Your Travel Questions!

Jess travels every week for speaking engagements across the globe and since she posts *too many* Insta-stories, she receives many questions about her travels. In this week’s episode, she attempts to answer them.

 

Episode 35 – How We Make Our Relationship Work – Long Distance Love

Jess’ much-better-half Brandon joins her to discuss how they make their relationship work while Jess is on the road. This is an unscripted discussion and we hope you like it!

 

Episode 34 – How to Deal With Online Hate!

This week on the @SexWithDrJess Podcast, social media influencer, Jacqui Childs, joins Jess to talk about what it’s like to be a woman in the digital world – the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are lots of laughs and reminiscing on this one, but most importantly the pair discuss online haters and how to deal.

 

Episode 33 – The Formula for Intimacy

In this week’s episode, Jess explores the power of vulnerability as part of the formula for intimacy.

Intimacy = Expression of vulnerability + Loving response

She shares one couple’s story and offers insight on how simple interactions can lead to deep connection. Have a listen!

 

Episode 32 – Are Funny People Better in Bed?

Comedian Debra DiGiovanni joins Jess to talk about the landscape of stand-up comedy for women in 2017. She responds to research suggesting that funny people are better in bed and shares sex insights from the world of comedy.

 

Episode 31 –  Sex & Menopause

Jess is joined by women’s health expert, Chia Chia Sun, who shares her research and insights into the world of menopause. Why do we need to talk about it? What can you do to have a hot sex life at any age?

 

Episode 30 – Confessions of a Funny Poly Lady

Jess speaks with comedian, Christina Walkinshaw, on what it’s like to be polyamorous. Jess and Christina draw from Christina’s blog, ‘Becoming Poly’, which discusses how Christina met her current partner and how she’s adapting to the poly world.

 

Episode 29 – Don’t Let Kids Ruin Your Marriage!

Three decades of research suggests that having kids is associated with an unhappy marriage, but it doesn’t have to be this way! Parenting Expert, Alyson Schafer joins Jess to share practical tips to help you live (almost) happily ever regardless of whether or not you have kids. Tune in to learn about no-ego parenting and the “couples counsel” approach that could revolutionize the way you communicate with your partner.

 

Episode 28 – All About Sex Clubs!

Sex clubs are becoming more mainstream. Jess shares her observations about sex clubs and chats with Fatima Mechtab who shares her stories (including one about a blowup doll!), tips and insights.

 

Episode 27 – Sex Terms You’ve Never Heard: CBT, AMDL & More!

Jess is joined by sex educator extraordinaire Sunny Megatron who shares her knowledge of kinky sex terms. From CEI to SPH, you’re sure to learn something new in this episode!

 

Episode 26 – Why Do We Always Aim To Please?

Stop trying to be a people-pleaser. You probably question its worth sometimes. This week, Jess sits down with Marriage and Family Therapist and author of The New Sex Bible for Women, Dr. Amie Harwick, to discuss the science of people-pleasing and why this doesn’t make for healthy relationships.

 

Episode 25 – Sexual Health Questions Answered

The brilliant Dr. Jessica Shepherd (@JShepherd_MD) joins Jess to talk about vaginal health and answer a few sexual health questions from listeners. If you have questions you’d like us to answer, send them our way! We love to hear from you.

 

Episode 24 – Jess & Brandon on What We Fight About

Jess’ husband Brandon joins her to talk about their fights — the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

Episode 23 – A Sexologist’s Guide to Kissing

Kissing is more than a means to an end! If you want to take your kissing game to the next level, listen to this quickie episode and try out some of Jess’ favourite techniques tonight.

 

Episode 22 – The Science of Passionate Relationships

Do you want more PASSION in your relationship? How about in the bedroom? Who doesn’t? Jess has some very specific tips for you. First, she breaks down the science (it’s simple & essential to understand the chemistry of love first) and then she shares some of her favourite tips for (re)igniting the spark.

 

Episode 21 – The Secret to a Happy Relationship

I’m excited about this one! Last week I caught up with my friend, former co-worker, super mom, loving wife and Real Housewives of Toronto cast member, Grego Minot. We discuss the secret to a happy relationship and she dishes on love, passion and her new reality as a “real housewife”. Her hubby (and my former boss) Pierre Jutras also drops in for a surprise chat.

 

Episode 20 – STOP! Don’t Do Kegels!

This week, Jess is joined by Rachel Gelman, a pelvic floor physical therapist from San Francisco. Rachel shares her unique insight on pelvic floor health, sexual pain and the fact that Kegels are overprescribed. Tune in to find out if you should be doing Kegels.

 

Episode 19 – Sex Robots: Technology, Ethics & What The Future Holds

Sex-bots are coming and the future is rather exciting! This week, Neil McArthur, The Director of the Centre for Applied Ethics from the University of Manitoba, joins us to discuss his research with sex robots. He shares his insights on the ethics of “using” sex robots and their potential benefits from a compassionate perspective.

 

Episode 18 – One “Trick” To Revolutionize Your Sex Life

In this week’s quickie episode, Jess describes how understanding your “Core Erotic Feeling” can improve your sex life. Whether you’re turned on by love, tenderness, humiliation or compliments, training your partner to evoke your core erotic feeling is key to a fulfilling sex life!

 

Episode 17 – Former PlayboyTV Exec Tells All: Group Sex, Sex-On-Camera & Overcoming Body Image Issues

This week, Jess speaks to her friend and former head of programming for Playboy TV, Wendy Miller. Listen to the pair reminisce about their days on set with Playboy TV, and many other shenanigans! This is one of Jess’ favourite interviews to date and not just because of all the talk of wine, gin and tonics, biting and strap-ons. Be sure to listen all the way to the end, as Wendy shares her story about overcoming body image issues as a ‘normal’ woman working in a world of Playboy bunnies.

 

Episode 16 – Your Guide to G-Spots & Squirting

This week’s episode is a wet one! Jess shares the science of G-Spots & squirting along with techniques you can try tonight. She answers common questions including: Can all women squirt? Is the G-Spot a real thing? Is female ejaculate pee? How can I get my partner to squirt? What is the Vagus nerve?

 

Episode 15 – Hotter Vacation Sex – Tips for the Long Weekend

In this week’s quickie episode, Jess shares practical strategies for having hotter sex this weekend and as your summer vacation approaches. From the 50/50 rule to packed surprises, these specific suggestions should lead you into the long weekend ready for passion, intimacy, and steamy sex.

 

Episode 14 – Jess and Megan Talk Masturbation

In this week’s podcast, Jess is joined by her friend and fellow sexologist, Megan Stubbs. Megan speaks candidly about her masturbation habits and laughs about getting “caught” by her friend before a coffee date. They both share tips for more fulfilling self- pleasure sessions (e.g. Conscious masturbation).

 

Episode 13 – What Goes On At A Sex House

This week, Jess welcomes Kenneth Play. Kenneth Play is a former fitness professional, sex educator and one of the founders of Hacienda Villa – a sex house in NYC. You’re probably thinking ‘what goes on in a sex house?’ You’ll have to listen to find out!

 

Episode 12 – Everything You Need to Know About Pee Play

Sex educator Luna Matatas joins Jess on this week’s podcast to talk about the taboo topic of pee play. Even if pee isn’t your cup of tea, you’ll learn some important lessons that you can apply to your sex life tonight.

 

Episode 11 – A Sexologist’s Husband Tells (Almost) All

This week Jess hosts her husband, Brandon Ware, for a tell-all on being married to a sexologist. He shares his thoughts on nude beaches, sex toys, public sex and more. Sit back and listen as Jess and Brandon walk you through their sexual journey.

 

Episode 10 – All About Full Body Orgasms

Dr. Jess hosts Sheri and Yvonne from Welcomed Consensus to discuss a few tools and techniques to achieve the perfect full body orgasm!

 

Episode 9 – How To Fight Less (Over The Holidays)

It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, the holidays mean more responsibility, more stress and more friction. In this week’s podcast, Dr. Oren Amitay joins host Jessica O’Reilly to share specific tips to reduce relationship strife and promote a happy, harmonious and HOT holiday season. Be warned — Dr. Jess may or may not sing her heart out in this episode…

 

Episode 8 – What to do When the Sex Sucks

Are you and your S.O. on the same page when it comes to sexual needs? Tune in to this episode of “Sex With Dr. Jess” with Sexologist and Relationship Expert Jessica O’Reilly for tips and tricks on how to communicate your sexual needs to your partner. Jessica interviews Jessica Maxwell, PhD Candidate, University of Toronto and debunks the myths of sexual chemistry.

 

Episode 7 – How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

In this episode of “Sex With Dr. Jess,” Sexologist and Relationship Expert Jessica O’Reilly talks about divorce: what are the signs, how do couples fight for their marriage, and what happens when a marriage fails. Are you and your spouse sexually compatible? Tune in to hear some tips on how to be compatible in the long run!

 

Episode 6 – One Key to a Happy Relationship

For many couples, the biggest buzzkill involves spending too much time together! In this episode of Sex With Dr. Jess, Sexologist and Relationship Expert Jessica O’Reilly recounts what it was like to start traveling for work and missing her husband. Being able to balance your time with your lover is an important part of a relationship; dates with your friends, personal time, and traveling for work are important not just for you, but your relationship.

 

Episode 5 – Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

Let’s talk about cheaters. Whether motivated by narcissism, commitment issues, or insecurity, Sexologist and Relationship Expert Jessica O’Reilly discusses the reasons why people cheat. Can you still be a good person after you’ve cheated?

 

Episode 4 – Sugar Baby Bares All

Are you curious about the life and experiences of a sugar baby? In this episode of Sex With Dr. Jess, Sexologist and Relationship Expert Jessica O’Reilly interviews Brooke. Brooke speaks candidly about her relationship with her sugar daddy, comparing it to “traditional” relationships.

 

Episode 3 – Sexism Has No Place in Sex

Sexism contributes to fewer, poorer orgasms! If you want bigger, better, more frequent orgasms, you need to let go of your sexist beliefs and take matters into your own hands first. In this episode of Sex With Dr. Jess, with Sexologist and Relationship Expert Jessica O’Reilly addresses everyone – men and women alike – and challenges them to look at how sexism is taking a toll on their sexual relationship all in the name of the Big Ohhh!

 

Episode 2 – Decency Trumps Hate

In this episode of Sex With Dr. Jess, Sexologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Jessica O’Reilly discusses the recently unearthed recording of Donald Trump in which he brags about “[grabbing] them by the pussy.” She shares some the daily messages she receives from her “fans” and discusses the problem with sending unsolicited sexually explicit messages. She also provides actionable tips for chatting & hooking up online.

 

Episode 1 – Sexual Compatibility: How to Fulfill Each Other’s Needs

In this episode of Sex With Dr. Jess, Sexologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Jessica O’Reilly speaks about sexual compatibility and its importance to developing a healthy, happy relationship both in and out of the bedroom. She talks candidly about her exes and shares tips on improving your relationship and analyzing your compatibility.