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Last month’s workshops brought me so much joy & the Coastal San Diego chapter stood out for their enthusiasm and unmatched willingness to share from the moment we walked into the room.
Here are a few takeaways from the group session:
1. Gush. Go on and on about your partner — to their face, behind their back and on the microphone in front of your friends and peers. Compliment them and show gratitude in abundance - even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. 
Don’t *assume* they know how great they are. *Tell* them.
2. Cackle. Let laughter be your hobby. Indulge in the feel-good hormones that promote bonding, diffuse tension and create shared meaning. 
One of the first participants to hop on the mic and gush about his partner highlighted how much fun they have together and how they find themselves “in stitches” on the daily — roaring laughter all night long, which is absolutely related to roaring pleasure of all kinds.
3. Alarm clock. Do you take your phone into your bedroom? Do you rationalize falling asleep and waking up to your phone on account of its function as an alarm clock.
There’s a simple solution: get an alarm clock.
Leaving your phone out of your bedroom (even once or twice a week) is a game changer. The mere presence of our devices detracts from connection, trust and presence — all of which lay the groundwork for pleasure and fulfilling relationships.
Thank you to @heh_ther AKA @theheatherfactor for including me in your programming! It was a pleasure.
I’m behind on the posts, so we’ve got tips from Bahamas, DC, NYC, Miami and more coming up…
#Sponsored 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer and a diagnosis for younger women can be particularly challenging when combined with life-stage stresses (e.g. child-rearing, career-building).  For many young women, there is also the worry about “what if my cancer comes back?”.   There are also resources to support overall quality of life while navigating treatment and recovery, which is why I put together this Relationship and Intimacy Q&A. You deserve all types of pleasure and connection at every stage of your journey.  You can learn more via the @cbcnetwork PatientPath, which is linked in my bio. Please share widely with your networks.  #empowermentafterbc #eBCAwareness #elilillycanada
Playing catch-up here. I’ve been on the road and in the air for 47 days taking more notes than photos at these couples’ retreats and Bermuda was a highlight.
Beyond the pink sand and genuine warmth (everyone says ‘good morning’ to strangers which is in my blood 🇯🇲), this group was amazing to work with - open, vulnerable, thoughtful and kind. And the post-session conversations were a personal highlight.
On top of it all, I got to paddle board on a clear SUP - an unreal experience in those turquoise waters.😳
But back to the lessons from happy couples:
1. Simmer: build excitement and let them know you’re thinking of them without interrupting their day by saving posts and memes into shared folders on IG. Pick categories that excite you from travel to erotica to philosophy and beyond and surprise them with new additions at your leisure. 📁
2. White board: want to work on an issue, flesh out a problem or come up with solutions? White board your process just like you do at the office. One couple shared their experience of writing down all the things to which they allocate time (kids, work, hobbies, time alone, health, projects, etc.). They colour-coded check marks to indicate where they wanted to invest more time, wrote down some goals & came up with strategies to execute.✔️
3. Skim: this one is simple. Build physical connection and desire through flirtatious and affectionate touch. Brush your against them, run your hand over their inner thigh or give them a pat on the butt when they’re walking up the stairs. Rather than relegating physical affection to the bedroom, create rituals to weave throughout the day. 
#1&3 credit to: @pvkbr & @michaelwbranco
Would you simmer, white-board or skim? These little things can go a long way!

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